Page 29 of So Not My Type

Just checking in. Colleen keeping an eye on you?

LOL.

There was nololabout it. Ella huffed and closed the screen.

Colleen lifted a brow and brought the sandwich to her lips. “Your mom?”

Ella nodded. “It’s too much.” She bit into the bread, the chunky peanut butter sticking to her mouth’s roof. She chewed slowly and swallowed. Her mom’s overbearingness was all she’d ever known. And when she was younger, it felt incredible. She was always the most important person in the room. But when she pulled away, her mother gripped harder. “Why is she such a control freak?”

As soon as the words slipped from her mouth, she wanted to take it back. She absolutely knew why her mom was the way she was. Deep in her core, she wanted to hug her mom and tell her that she was okay, that she would be fine, and that she needed to stop worrying.

Colleen stuffed the chocolate chip cookie in between the sandwich. “Hmm. That’s the stuff right there, Ella girl. Try on your next bite.” She nudged the plate toward Ella. Several moments passed and she sighed. “After your first seizure, your mom changed.”

Of course she did. Ella wasn’t so dense that she couldn’t understand that when a parent discovers their kid has a major medical issue, it rewires their brain. But at some point… shouldn’t they get over it? Learn to cope?

“When you had your first seizure, I thought your mom was going to lose it.” Colleen clapped the crumbs from her hands and dipped a brush into emerald green. “Until you have kids, you’llnever understand. I’ll probably never fully understand. Your mom handles you… this… the situation, the best way she knows how.”

Ella knew this, but she still hated it.

“You know, it’s not like your mother and I were raised in an empathetic family and taught how to nurture strong daughters. Our consistent message was to be seen and not heard. And when seen, your hair better be done, your clothes wrinkle free, and your smile wide.”

Growing up, Ella remembered monthly visits to her grandparents’ mansion in Bellevue. Her grandpa had passed when she was very young and she barely remembered him, but she remembered her grandma. She had been nice enough. But Ella remembered a playmate talking about her grandma who wore an apron and made homemade brownies and sticky slime in the kitchen, and Ella couldn’t reconcile that image with her own. Visits with Grandma were about wearing dresses, drinking tea, and never, ever doing anything to embarrass her mom.

Ella squeezed a dollop more of crimson and gold, and swiped the canvas. The picture—whatever it was—came alive. “You didn’t change when Dottie got sick.”

Colleen held her brush in midair. “Part of me did.”

Her words were soft, and Ella immediately regretted bringing up Colleen’s wife. When Dottie died almost ten years ago, Ella didn’t remember Colleen stopping her sage-waving, or hiding all her crystals, or becoming an overbearing aunt who monitored everything Ella did when she visited.

“I remember having terrible thoughts. Terrible.” Colleen’s brush clanked against the side of the glass water jar, and she wiped it with a towel. “I kept thinking your mom and dad wereluckythat the only thing they had to worry about with you was epilepsy. And that it was unfair that your dad was healthy, and my sister wouldn’t understand what I was going through.”She huffed through her nose. “Who thinks that way? I’m embarrassed even to say it. But watching the cancer eat Dottie’s bones for more than a year… I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.”

A sadness filled the air. What would it be like to lose your wife, your soulmate, your person, in your forties? Ella couldn’t even imagine having a person. She’d thought a while ago Jasmine might be it. She wassoin love. Or so she thought. She dreamed about her at night, thought about her during the day, the flutters shook her for the first months. At first, Jasmine represented everything Ella craved—fresh air, a confidante, laughter. God, she could make Ella laugh. That was one of the hardest things to let go of post-breakup. When she discovered Jasmine cheated, that she held such little regard for her, Ella thought she’d never laugh again.

But a small part of Ella always knew they weren’t going to last. A few weeks before Jasmine broke Ella’s heart, Ella brought her here to meet Colleen. Jasmine spent half the time complaining about the smells, how her shoes got dirty, and how scary the horses were.

“How are you and my mom so different? You were raised by the same people.”

Colleen leaned back and eyed her canvas. “It was probably easier for me. Being the older sister, she had way more pressure than I did. And I was lucky. The earth soothed me. I’m not sure your mother ever found something that provided her the same comfort.” The brush swiped back and forth until she smiled. “Your mom’s not a bad person. You know that, right?”

Ella knew that, but sometimes it was easier to think she was terrible. Her mom was quick with the guilt trip and slow with the sympathy. And even though Ella thought leaving home was no big deal, it would be hard for her mom to become an empty-nester.

“You need to give her some grace, okay?” Colleen tapped Ella on the knee. “And maybe apply some of that grace to your new co-worker. My guess is she’s working through something, too.”

Ella’s stomach fell. It never really occurred to her that Sophie might have her own issues. She always seemed so self-assured, so confident, so totally in charge. Maybe tomorrow, Ella would make some changes.

ELEVEN

SOPHIE

The headphones blared an old school Melissa Etheridge song, but Sophie couldn’t focus on the lesbian power anthem. She hung the device from her neck and pushed the elevator button. Even after sharing a brunch with Maya and Harper on Saturday morning and falling asleep early after finishing Casey McQuiston’s newest release, she couldn’t shake the regret she felt about Friday.

She hated the way she acted towards Ella.Hated. It. The conversation with Malcolm had knocked her on her ass. Not only did she fail to show solid leadership qualities, but she had also been straight-up childish, allowing pre-conceived notions to cloud her judgement. And purely for the sake of self-preservation, if she ever wanted to have a trainee again, she needed to put aside her irritation at the situation.

Because really, her issue was the situation. And she took it out on the human.

The office was quiet as usual at this time of morning. Ella was at her desk, the soft light from the lamp creating an angelic effect around her as her fingers tapped the keyboard. For years, Sophie was always one of the first to arrive, desperate to get a leg up onher colleagues. She knew the signs of a chase well, and Ella was definitely chasing.

“Morning.” Sophie dropped her bag on the floor under her desk. Why did Ella always have to smell so good? It was distracting. And it was always different, like she wanted to keep people guessing. Sophie leaned in, subtly, of course, as sniffing your co-workers was probably not approved in the HR handbook. A warm, deep cedar and rose tone filled her nose.

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