Page 54 of The Friend

Abby gnawed on her bottom lip, knowing only one thing would get through to him, but all too aware that telling him the truth might drive an irreversible wedge in their friendship forever.

“Give it to me straight, Weiss.”

The moment she heard him call her by her surname, slipping into old familiarity, she knew she owed him the truth.

Either way, it would settle this once and for all.

“I’m not willing to take a chance on a relationship with you because I know where it will end, with you running out on me and me picking up the pieces of a broken heart.Again.”

He paled beneath his tan. “Again? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You honestly don’t have a clue, do you?”

Realisation dawned and he took a step towards her before thinking better of it. “You had feelings for me when we were teenagers?”

She nodded, biting down on her bottom lip until she tasted blood, not willing to blab the rest of the truth to him, that ‘feelings’ was a poor substitute for how much she loved him, had always loved him.

“Hell.” He ran a hand over his face, as if trying to erase the mistakes of the past. If only it was that easy. “I didn’t know. I thought we were just fooling around that night, a couple of kids experimenting. You never said anything…”

And she’d kept her silence ever since, bottling up her feelings all these years, not admitting she’d never gotten over her first kiss—her first love, if she were completely honest.

“What could I say? We were both young and I had no idea if you felt the same way I did. Besides, you had places to go, things to do. You were my best friend and I didn’t want to stop you, to rob you of your dreams.”

“You did that for me?” His tenderness almost undid her as she struggled not to blurt the rest.

“Of course. That’s what friends do. They put the other person’s feelings ahead of their own, no matter how much it hurts.” She paused and balled her hands to stop from reaching for him. “But not anymore. This time, I’m taking care of me.”

Stricken, he shook his head. “I’m sorry I hurt you, and I’m sorry you had to go through all that, but this time will be different. I’m not planning on going anywhere anytime soon.”

“That’s what you say now but how do you know?” She hated the devastation in his eyes, hated the pain splintering her heart into tiny pieces. “Moving around is a part of who you are and I won’t want to lose you again, especially if we’re involved in a relationship. And if we do give it a go, either you’ll feel stifled and end up resenting me or I’ll feel guilty for being the reason you’re sticking around when you’d rather go. Ultimately, we both lose, and when you eventually leave, because you will, I’ll be left to pick up the pieces all over again and I can’t do it. I won’t do it. I’m not strong enough.”

She huffed out a long breath after articulating her fears and revealing her true feelings, but instead of a weight lifting off her shoulders she’d never felt so shattered.

“All I’m asking for is a chance.”

She heard a hint of desperation in his voice and anger replaced her pain. Why was he doing this to her? She’d been honest with him, had hoped he’d get the message once and for all.

In a blinding flash, she knew how to get through to him, to ram her point home.

“You want a chance? Okay, tell me how long you’re planning on sticking around?”

The second his glance wavered from hers, she knew she’d won.

Then why did it feel like he’d ripped her heart out all over again and she was the biggest loser ever?

His lips set in a stubborn line before he replied, “I’m not planning on going anywhere.”

Determined to end this before she started blubbering, she said, “How long is your contract for?”

He stiffened and thrust his hands into his pockets. “What’s that got to do with us?”

“Everything.” She tilted her head up and eyeballed him. “How long?”

Defeat dulled the gleam in his hazel eyes. “It’s open-ended.”

Hating how her heart sank when he’d already managed to break it without trying, she said, “Let me guess. Your idea, not Mark’s.”

His barely perceptible nod was all the confirmation she needed.

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