Page 64 of An Alien for the Future

I swallow hard, nodding slowly. “Okay.”

Tovan’s claw tightens on mine, and I turn to face him. The pain in his eyes mirrors the ache in my heart. We both know this could be our last moment together as we are now—two individuals, separate but yearning. After tonight, everything could change.

“Tovan,” I breathe, reaching up to cup his face in my hands. “I…”

Words fail me. How can I possibly express everything I’m feeling? The fear, the hope, the love that’s bloomed so unexpectedly in my heart?

He leans down, pressing his forehead to mine. “I know, lira’an,” he murmurs. “I know.”

We stand there for a long moment, breathing each other in, memorizing every detail of this moment. Then, with a gentleness that belies his massive size, Tovan presses a soft kiss to my lips.

“Until dawn.” The words come out rough, as if he’s holding back tremendous emotion and I nod, not trusting myself to speak. As I turn to follow Xarion out of the medical building, I can’t help but look back one last time. Tovan stands there, his golden eyes locked on mine, and with Arnak at his side. I take comfort in that. At least he won’t be on his own. When the news comes, at least he’ll have someone there with him. And I will be…

Alone?

I swallow hard. It’s nothing new. I’ve weathered a shit-ton of storms alone. I can do this one, too. But there’s an ache. That ache Tovan had been starting to fill.

I don’t want to do it alone. Not anymore.

The walk to the inn is a blur. Xarion takes a series of corridors and back roads all while chatting about procedures and protocols, but I barely hear him. My mind is consumed with thoughts of Tovan, of the test, of the future that hangs in the balance.

Turns out the inn is like a luxury apartment building. The room is large, comfortable, and gives a view of the street below. I stand there for a few moments, watching the Kari mill about around the medical center. Every one of them waiting for the news that will soon come.

“If Tovan Kamesh is not your mate,” Xarion begins.

I shake my head before stepping away from the window. “If he’s not my mate, I really don’t want one.”

Xarion sets down a pack that looks like it has a bundle of fresh tunics, soap tubes and other things. “You have bonded with him that much?” He steps closer, crouching before me as I settle into a soft feathered seat. Those red eyes search mine before his ears fold back on his head. “Oh, Donna Johnson…you have bonded with him. Deeply. Removing such a bond will bring hardship if he turns out to not be your kahl.”

I snort. “Hardship. I’m no stranger to that, honey.”

Xarion stretches a furred hand toward me before pausing and pulling back. He rises. “This is certainly not what I had in mind when I encouraged you to ‘integrate’ with the Kari, Donna. Though, I must admit, your approach is…far more interesting than what would normally go in my reports.”

“I’ve got a few choice words you can put in your report.” I scowl at him and his mouth twitches in a rare smile.

“Farewell, Donna Johnson. I will see you on the dawn of the next sol.”

I look away, eyes on the open window. He’s leaving. I don’t think I want to be alone. Not now. And I can’t have Tovan.

As soon as Xarion leaves, I sink further into the feathered seat, the events of the day finally catching up with me. I’m exhausted, emotionally and physically drained.

I’m not sure how long I sit there, lost in thought, when a knock at the door startles me back to reality. For a wild moment, I hope it’s Tovan, protocol be damned. But when I open the door, I’m greeted by the familiar faces of Catherine and Eleanor instead.

“Surprise!” Eleanor grins, holding up a basket filled with what looks like food containers. “We thought you might need some company.”

Catherine, more reserved, offers a gentle smile. “And some food. We remember how…demanding the whole process can be.”

My heart leaps even as I try to hide it. “Demanding?”

Stepping back, I let them in.

“Yes,” Eleanor says. She’s already halfway across the room and setting the basket she brought down on the table with a thud. “The rut. You’ll be drained. We brought vitamins and an energy shot that should get you through it. Not to mention thefood. You’ll be so achy you won’t want to get up and cook a thing.”

My mouth is slightly open as I close the door and lean on it, my gaze darting between my two friends, their cheerful faces, and that basket overflowing with goodies. For a moment, I’m speechless, caught between the sheer absurdity of the situation and a wave of relief so profound it makes my knees weak.

I hadn’t realized how much I needed this—the comfort of friendly faces, of women who understand exactly what I’m going through.

“Oh, honey.” Catherine’s face falls, and she rushes toward me, throwing her arms around my shoulders. “Why didn’t you call? You’re not alone out here, you know? We’re here for you.”

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