Page 17 of An Alien for the Future

I flex my foot now, testing it out. The lifeblood has ceased seeping. In a few sols, it will be like this accident never occurred. But the female doesn’t know that.

Maybe I should knock on her door. Tell her the truth. That she wasted her supplies helping me. That I’m a brute who couldn’t stop himself from accepting her assistance. That I amutterly shameless. And that I will leave now. Make my way off her land.

Only…I don’t.

I can already feel the slight change in the air, the way the clouds above seem to be rumbling and congealing together. The plains will get a shower soon and piloting a grav bike through the torrent will be less than pleasurable. Yet still, the thought of leaving, of bringing this meeting to an end, feels instinctively wrong.

My brow tightens as I stare at the sky for a few moments before my gaze sweeps over the lush fields surrounding this female’s small farm. It is peaceful out here, far from the chaos and soullessness of the town.

When the torrent comes, the female will be safe. In her lodge, it will be like surrounding herself with a cocoon, locking out the outside world. For that alone, it’s clear why her kind has chosen to come to live out in these plains. Whenever I and Arnak venture out here for the surveys, I’ve always noticed it. The peace. The sort of peace I crave, but one that always remains just out of reach. Because even with the calmness around me, there will always be that one part deep inside that is still trapped with the greatest wound for my kind.

The ache of a species designed for a bond so profound, so rare, that most of us live and die without ever experiencing it.

And maybe that’s why my thoughts shift back to the female. To the compassion in her eyes, the strength in her soft claws. To the way she looked at me simply as a being who needed her help.

That compassion was a reflex. As if she’s spent a lifetime tending to wounds, both physical and unseen.

As if she could tend to mine.

Foolish thought. Helping me meant nothing, not to her, I’m sure. But it’s been a long time since anyone looked at me the wayshe did. Touched me, the way she did.Caredfor me, the way she did—even if it was fleeting.

I close my eyes, letting the cool breeze wash over me. I’ll have to leave soon. Despite that I’m sure she’d deny it, she’s probably hidden away because I’m unsettling. Even Kari females find my size disturbing. If I were a smaller male, she might have spent more time with me. Tarried a little longer. Now she’s gone in, her sweet scent and presence missing, and I can’t even hear a sound inside.

I am aware, however, that she might be watching.

The thought sends an unexpected thrill through me, one that I quickly suppress. I am not here for…whatever this is. I have a job to do, one that extends far beyond this small farm and its intriguing inhabitant.

Plus, there’s the other matter entirely. That within me lies a silent song. The one thing that’s supposed to let me know when I’ve found my mate is painfully absent. My core-rhythm doesn’t exist. For all I know, this female might belong to another of my kind. To Arnak even.

A particularly chilly gust blows across the porch. Everything within me stills. If she belongs to another Kari, to Arnak of all males, it should bring me joy. It would mean she will be protected, cared for. But the idea is like a misaligned scale. Wrong. Uncomfortable.

Frakk. This is why I should leave. I’d thought the others of my kind, the males that have flocked our town searching for these females, were hoping for too much.

That the insanity was driving them. But they aren’t insane. Because that insanity is the same thing driving me now. The same reason why I’m seated at this female’s cottage, feigning a serious injury, and hoping for even a few more moments in her presence.

But…she did nothing to indicate she was in the least bit interested in me. I am not some juvenile pining after the first female to show him kindness.

I should leave…

Instead, shifting on the seat, I angle my body slightly towards the human’s door. Just in case she does emerge. Just in case she decides to grace me with her presence once more. It’s foolish. Dangerous, even. But I can’t seem to help myself.

She wanted to devour me at one point… That could have been a sign…

Or maybe it’s just a sign I should stop being stubborn and get my translator updated. It’s an easy process enough. I know a male, a bounty hunter, that could get me the latest unreleased version of languages. I just have to give him something he wants in return.

Go, Tovan. You must leave. You have tarried too long.Want to be soaked in the torrent, half-blinded by the intensity of the showers on your way back to town? No? Then you should go now.

I tarry. My gaze drifting back to the door. My ears straining to catch even the faintest sound of movement within. But there’s nothing. Just the whisper of the rising wind through the grass-feed and the distant call of grazing oogas.

It is not till the sun begins to pass its midpoint in the sky, it s light fading behind the converging clouds that I finally accept that I must leave. I’ve lingered far too long, indulging in juvenile fantasies and dangerous hopes. It’s time to go, to return to my duties and the reality of my predictable existence.

I rise from the seat. Glancing at the door, I try not to peer through her windows. That would make me certainly look like someone she doesn’t want inside. Instead, I dip my head and rummage in my pockets for credits. I will get her namesomehow. Pay her properly, but I hope this can settle my debt for now.

Lifting a fist, I’m ready to rap against her door, when I pause. She obviously does not want to speak to me again. Why else would she have not come back outside after so long? So, lump in my throat, I leave a hundred credits at her door before lifting my voice.

“I’m off now.” I pause, waiting, listening. There’s only silence. “Thank you again, female, for your…” For her presence? For the fact she’s suddenly lit a spark within me that’s making me hope again? “For your assistance.”

It seems woefully inadequate.

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