Page 19 of An Alien for Her Heart

And when Varek catches me looking, when his gaze meets mine across the yard and holds, I don’t have the shame to duck away from the window. Like a deer caught in headlights, I stare back at him, a skitter going straight through the center of my chest like an electric thread. Something hot and hungry and alive, something that makes my breath catch in my throat and my heart stutter in my chest alight.

That stutter in my chest scares me enough that I look away. Force myself to break the moment and shift away from the window. He lifted me and for the first time in a long while, I felt the real strength of a male. The real hardness of one.

That’s all this is.

That’s all it can be.

Hours later, when he knocks and says that he’s leaving, it’s long after the Raki had already gone. It’s dark, the sun hiding on the other side of the planet, and by the time I reach the door, Varek is already in his hover truck.

I catch his eyes before he leaves. Catch the respectful dip of his head, chin to chest, before he pulls away.

Watching the hover truck go, something tightens in my chest. I pull my shawl closer across my shoulders, frowning at myself as I take a deep breath.

Well, this day was a disaster. I’m about to close the door, lock myself in for the night, when I almost miss the crate of fruit sitting on my doorstep.

That same thing that tightened in my chest grows tenser, as if it’s going to strangle my heartstrings.

Lifting the crate, I bring them inside, setting them at the center of the table. I stare at them now and my throat clenches. I swallow hard.

The fruits glisten in the dim light as if calling to me and I lick my lips at the temptation. Because that’s what they are. A temptation. Like a tangible manifestation of…something I can’t even put into words. It’s silly, but it takes great will to turn away.

It feels like the heaviness of the world is on my shoulders as I head to the bedroom, letting my body plop into the bed, face-down, my nose scrunched against the purple linen.

Tomorrow will be better. It always is. It always gets easier.

7

VAREK

I’m despicable.

That doesn’t stop me from pumping my fist along my shaft, groaning at the image I’ve dreamt up in my mind.

Catherine.

She’s against me, her soft body tucked underneath mine as she whimpers my name while I plunge into her. The thought makes my eyes roll back, a groan on my lips that vibrates into the still dark room around me. My tongue flicks against my fangs as I lick my lips, my hips shunting forward underneath the sleep coverings right before my entire frame stiffens.

I imagine her body quaking as she reaches her peak while I’m buried deep within her slit. The thought alone is enough to send me over the edge. A pulse goes through me, warm thick seed flowing over my fist and down my arm as I empty my sac.

I really am despicable.

I stay there for a few moments, staring up at the dark roof above me.

She’s not looking for a mate. What the frakk is wrong with me?

I’mnot looking for a mate. I’m looking formymate. Mykahl. Surely, if mykahlwas right before me, I would know. Somehow, I’d know she is the one I’m searching for.

Twisting, I throw my legs off the sleeping slab and head toward the washroom. There I clean myself without looking at my reflection. I can’t. I’m pitiful.

When my comm pings in the other room, I almost stumble over my feet and my still semi-hard cock as I rush back into the room for it. I growl when I see who it is.

“What are you doing awake?” My growl does nothing to rip the grin off my siblingkin’s face.

“If you must know, I spent the last few hors pleasuring my mate. What is your reason?”

I sneer at him, feigning disgust. What I’m really feeling is such an onset of pure, raw jealousy that the sneer actually becomes real.

Zynar chuckles. “I had to ping you.”

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