Page 17 of An Alien for Her Heart

Sitting at the hover controls, my claws tighten and relax, tighten and relax.

Catherine doesn’t say anything. It’s almost like she’s not even there anymore. Her body is here, but it’s suddenly like her presence is guarded away behind some invisible wall. When I look at her, she meets my gaze, doesn’t flinch away, but her smile is that same tight thing. A stretch of her lips as her eyebrows lift slightly.

This won’t do.

“A moment.” It comes out gruff as if all the practicing I’ve done in the wee hors of dawn was for naught. I can’t even apologize, fearing it will come out gruffly too, and as I hop out of the cab, I’m mentally berating myself as I head back down the street.

The fruit vendor’s eyes alight the moment he spots me, probably remembering that we’d lingered at his stall once before.

“Greetings good—” The severity of my brow cuts him off, but all is forgiven the moment I tell him exactly what I want.

6

CATHERINE

The ride back is quiet. Silent even. The only sound being the soft hum of the engine.

I keep my gaze forward, even though I’m completely aware of the alien beside me. He leans back in his seat, a slight frown on his brow as he faces the curved windscreen before us. He hasn’t looked at me since he returned to the vehicle. Hasn’t said a word. And even though it’s what I want, what Ineed, some part of me is disappointed. As if I’ve been reduced to wanting the attention I’ve gotten from him so far. As if I crave it even more than I’d like to admit.

I release a slow silent breath, allowing my back to rest on the leather as the hover truck speeds along. It’s smooth. Much smoother than riding in a car on a freshly paved highway. Almost like riding on the wind itself, and, I suppose, that’s exactly what we’re doing. I would ask how it all works—but it just doesn’t seem like the right thing to say.

Glancing over my shoulder, something twists deep inside me at the crate of fruits I can see resting there in the trunk. A whole crate. The same fruits I was looking at and wanted to buy. I want to think that he bought them for himself. No way he purchased an entire crate full of the things for me. They were like tencredits each, which is a considerable amount for a single fruit, but I still wonder. He never paid any attention to them when we were on the street. Could he have really…no. Why would he? He’s already doing so much for me, that would be going above and beyond for a stranger he’s only just met.

One who climbed him like he was a tree.

I want to groan and cover my face with my hands. Possibly scream into the vastness of the plains. But Varek is here. He would see me. Hear me. Stand witness to my mortification.

He lifted me out of the way like I weighed nothing. And my response? Climb him.

It was instinctual.

The moment he lifted me, my body reacted on its own, seeking safety in the strong, solid presence of him. Why in the name of all that is good, did I do that? I haven’t—when was the last time I—

I don’t even have an excuse. I just did it. And that has me quite unsure of what the hell happened out there. I’ve always been able to keep my composure. Back on Earth, it was one of my strong points. Can’t be a weakling prone to one’s emotions when the Richmond name depended on every single thing you did.

That ingrained steel will is what got me through waking up surrounded by aliens and realizing the entire life I lived before was over. It’s what got me through the pains and struggles of human existence back on Earth. Yet there I was, clinging to Varek like a lifeline, my heart racing as if my lawyers had discovered a devastating piece of information that could torpedo the entire family name.

Crackers on a stick. His hold on me was steady. He lifted me as if it was so…natural, and I clung to him, images of the war and those horrid aliens that took me from Earth swimming right back into my memory as if it was just yesterday. It’s done, it’s allfinished now, and I thought I was over it. Over the trauma those Tasqals created within me. And yet, the moment that huge alien stumbled our way, all I could see were his teeth and the fact he was coming right at us. I became an object again. Something to be pushed, pulled, beaten, bred, and abused, with no regard for my will or input.

I overreacted.

Now, as we glide over the landscape, I can’t stop replaying the moment in my head, over and over again. I didn’t have to climb into his arms like that. It wasn’t a drastic situation. If I’d just allowed Varek to move me out of the way like he intended, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. And Varek? He’d gone like stone. Hard, unmoving, I couldn’t even feel him breathing.

I try to ignore the weight of his presence beside me now and the way his scent fills the cab of the truck and makes my head spin. It’s even stronger now than before. Colognes fade over time, but this sweet scent only seems to be increasing. He smells good. So good. I want to chide myself for acknowledging even that. It takes everything within me not to berate myself for paying attention to something so simple. Something so masculine it reminds me I’m a woman.

I’m a woman.

One that wants to be touched, even though she says she doesn’t. One that wants to be held, even though I push the thought away. One that wants to be loved, even though I know the time for such things has passed. Such thoughts belong where I’ve hidden them away because they make my chest tighten. My heart ache.

Am I even the same person? The same Catherine Rose Richmond that was living that life on Earth? The one that had a family, a nice home…a husband?

That last one holds me still.

He’d died years before I was even abducted. I’ve already mourned. Already picked up myself and moved on. It all feels like a distant dream now. And yet, the guilt remains. The sense that having been granted this new life I’m somehow betraying the memory of all those I’ve left behind.

As if they didn’t even exist.

We arrive at the farm just as the sun is reaching its midpoint in the sky. A slight breeze is still blowing, sending the grass swaying as the oogas in the field graze calmly. It’s distinctly out of sorts to the turmoil suddenly raging inside me.

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