Page 9 of Crave

Was this love? I’d always believed love was gentle and kind. Built on respect and trust and a shared goal of a future.

This type of love cut me into pieces and put me back together. It was too raw, too loud, too messy to be the type I believed in. But right now, if Adam forced me to tell the truth, I would admit it.

I loved him this way. My way. The wrong way.

And there was nothing I could do about it.

He stilled for a few moments, then continued to squeeze the washcloth over my breasts, allowing trickles of warm water to cleanse and tease my hard nipples. His erection settled between my buttocks, poised in the entrance of my pussy. With every shift in the tub, his dick bumped against my clit, making me want more. I’d become a needy, writhing whore for him, just like he’d promised.

“Are you asking if I love you, Landon?”

My cheeks burned in humiliation. I wanted to get out of the tub and stalk away in pride, but we’d come too far tonight for me to fall back now. Not after kissing his scars. Not after giving him every part of my body, inside and out. “No. I don’t need those words now. What we have is enough.”

I meant it, even though the future was messy and I had no idea how to navigate us.

I felt him relax. He wasn’t ready to define what we were either. We’d done enough for tonight to put that question to the side.

“I think the intensity is a part of who we both are. I felt it the moment I looked at you, but you chose Max. The only way I could deal was to turn that chemistry into hate. I needed to lock you up in a box in my head and keep you there.”

“It was easy to choose Max,” I admitted. “He was what I knew. What I was comfortable with. I loved him in my own way.”

“I know. I’m not jealous of that part. It was imagining his hands all over your body, his tongue in your mouth, his gaze watching while you came. When I pictured the scene, I felt like ripping him apart.”

It was the first time he admitted his jealousy. The truth both thrilled and shamed me. “You never let anyone see it. Even me. I thought you despised me.”

“Oh, I did. And Max. Yet, both of you are an important part of my life I couldn’t let go. We are a fucked up, incestuous group.”

I laughed. His arms wrapped around me and held tight. “I know. I need them, too. We have to make them understand. Even Max.”

“I’ll talk to him. Take the hit. Either before I leave for LA or right after. When do you start filming forDumped?”

I didn’t hear any tinge of mockery in his voice. “Two weeks.”

“Exactly when I leave.”

Silence settled other than the gentle movement of water as Adam shifted position, cupping his hands over my breasts and playing with my nipples. The fiery heat speared through me, and I craved him again. The hunger was never ending, and I knew I could spend the rest of my life exploring this intensity with him, in bed and out.

The thought of being apart for three months ripped through me. I’d kept his trip as a shady type of future event that would never happen. Now, it was almost here, just when we’d committed to each other.

“I have to tell Elle about us,” I said.

“What about Gabby and Daisy?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. Do you want to tell Coop?”

“No. I’m closest to Noah right now but I’m comfortable not telling anyone. Will Elle keep the secret until we’re ready to share?”

“Yes, I trust her with my life.”

“Then we’ll wait. Hell, maybe it’s best this way. We both come back from our break and start fresh. Maybe Max will be in a new relationship.”

I knew he was being positive for me, but sensed he had doubts. “Maybe.”

I listened to the sound of his breath and got lost in my thoughts. Then he asked the question that would set an entire new story into action.

“Landon, I want you to come with me. To LA.”

I twisted around to glance at him in shock. “What?”

---