Page 13 of Crave

Worry nibbled at my nerves. I’d been fully on board with however they wanted to cast me, but in the past few days, Adam’s warnings had dug deep. Is this what I really needed to get to the next level? If the show blew up, I could have endless opportunities. If the show tanked, I could be blasted in the industry and pretty much done before I started. I was no Paris Hilton or Nicole Richie, and this wasn’t the debut of reality television. Unless it was a well-known hit, the odds were stacked against me. Plus, delving into a fake tv romance for ratings didn’t fly.

“Do you think I should have another talk with the producers and casting before I finalize the contracts?”

“You didn’t sign yet?”

“No. My new agent was away so there was a delay. I have to go to her office tomorrow.”

“I think you need to ask yourself some hard questions. If Adam wasn’t here and chattering in your ear, would you be really excited? Would you have even second guessed not taking the role?”

I sighed. “No.”

“Make sure this is about you and not him. Adam’s got his gig in LA. He made his own sacrifices to get what he wants. If you want tv and fame and don’t care about the steps to get there, youshould do the show. But if you want something else—maybe stuff that you haven’t even admitted—you may need to say no.”

“I think you’re right. I can’t run off with Adam to LA on a whim.” I forced a laugh. “Right?”

Elle shook her head. “Before today, I would’ve laughed my ass off at the thought. Now? Who the hell knows?” Her lips tightened. “But I don’t think you should, Landon. Let Adam do his thing and you do yours. You have a job at Red and a life. What are you going to do out there anyway? Be his groupie?”

I winced. “He mentioned poking around for casting calls and taking some time to re-think my career.”

“Doing what? More modeling? More sponsors for your influencing? A master’s degree?”

It popped out of my mouth before I could think. “Writing.”

She blinked. “You want to be a writer?”

I hesitated but it was time to share everything with Elle. “Remember I mentioned a while back I liked to make up stories? Well, I have a few series I write on Wattpad under a different name. They do pretty well but I never thought of making writing a part of my career. Adam mentioned it.”

A strange hardness settled into her gaze. “Babe, this is a little weird. You sleep with Adam and suddenly you want to quit this tv role you fought so hard for, and you want to write? Don’t get me wrong! I think you should definitely pursue writing, but you don’t have to drop it all and go to LA for that. Right?”

Heat burned my cheeks. It did sound ridiculous now that I said it aloud. Maybe in the intimate moments I had with Adam, in his bed, the offer had sounded more romantic. More like he saw more in me than I saw in myself. But Elle could be right.

Was I being impulsive because I was deep in lust? Is this what I really wanted?

I forced a smile. “You’re right. That’s what I needed to hear.”

Her whole body relaxed. “Okay, good. You’re not that far gone! Umm, I guess I can’t tell Coop about any of this?”

“Not a word. Please, Elle. Swear you won’t tell a soul.”

“I swear. But I won’t be able to hold out for too long. I just stopped giving him shit for keeping Max’s cheating from me. It’s not gonna look good if I do the same to him.”

“I’ll figure it out. Thanks. I love you.”

“Love you, too, you psycho slut.”

I laughed and tried to finish my salad. But I knew time was running out to make my decision.

About the show. About Adam. About our relationship.

About everything.

Chapter Seven

Adam

Listen to Save Me a Place

by Mono Minds

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