Page 55 of Yearn

Max was moving in this weekend and I’d begun to embrace the future. Yes, I’d kissed Adam, but after his coldness and crappy behavior at Starbucks, I’d finally freed myself of him.

Kind of.

Max was being everything I always dreamed of in a boyfriend. Elle had decided to move in with Coop so we were doing a double switch and we were all excited. I felt like everyone was moving forward.

Max had told me he called Adam and apologized for being a jerk. He’d admitted to me he was upset Adam seemed happy to replace us with his bandmates as friends, and been feeling off about it. I loved that he confided in me about his vulnerability, and how much Adam really meant to him. I’d swallowed the guilt whole and swore to not look back. It was truly over this time. I didn’t intend to spend any time alone with Adam, and would accept it if he wanted to be cold to me. I was sure once his record came out, he’d be swept up in a lot of performances so I’d see less of him. I didn’t want him gone from the group, though. He was a part of us. I wanted a way to move forward and not have this hungry, yawning need for the man.

But these two weeks had been easier and I’d begun to breathe and enjoy myself more. We were heading out tonight to see Noah after work and I was finally ready.

I straightened my hair for the night, wore my special push-up bra that cost a ton of money, and threw my midnight blue lace dress in my bag to change into. The peekaboo lace showed offglimpses of naked skin, and the color made my eyes pop. I was ready to turn things up and party hard. I missed my friends and being together these past two weeks.

I worked with Elle at Red and the time flew by. Gabby had been doing well so she’d earned her own section in the back, where tips were pretty much double. When our shift ended, we changed and carpooled to the club to see Noah. He’d put our names on the list in VIP section.

We got to our booth, ordered shots and martinis, and took in the vibe of the crowd. Noah mastered the art of pumping everyone up. I grabbed Daisy’s hand and pulled her to me. “He’s incredible!” I shouted over the music. “I love seeing him like this!”

Daisy laughed. “Yeah, sometimes I feel like I’m with two separate people. He’s so sweet and chill, then he goes all rockstar like Adam.”

I ignored the shiver that shot down my spine. “They’re both really passionate about music.”

Elle squeezed into the convo. “I think it’s why we all bonded so well. We go hardcore no matter what we do—work, play, sex. I love that about us!”

Daisy and I shared an amused look. Elle was usually a bit shy, and a constant blusher, but I’d noticed a flush on her cheeks for a whole other reason. She said she mentioned one of her fantasies to Coop and he was all about making it happen. The idea that my bestie was really a closet exhibitionist blew my mind, but I also loved that about her.

“What’s happening with Adam and Noah’s song?” Daisy asked.

“It’s recorded and officially part of the album. Adam’s manager asked if I’d sing with Unison at a few of their tour stops to help promote and I didn’t want to say no. I think it’ll be cool. You guys have to come see me though. I’ll be a nervous wreck!”

“You’ll do great, babe. Who knows what will happen? A director could see you or big agent and want to work with you.”

Elle blew me us kisses. “I love you both so much!”

“Ditto! Oh, I have news, too! I got a call back on the reality show I auditioned for!” I announced.

My friends squealed and clapped. I told them all the details, and even though they groaned with me about the concept, they were excited and supportive. We ordered champagne and Daisy headed off to hang with Noah. Max came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing a kiss against my neck. “What are we celebrating?” he asked.

“Us. Elle’s song with Adam and Noah. My possible reality show.”

“Everyone seems to be breaking out.”

I caught a hard edge to his voice. I understood Max got worried about losing people and he deserved some grace. “We’ll all get to the top in different ways and times,” I said. “But we’ll get there together.”

“Sure, we will. Here’s Adam and Gabby.”

I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat and took a sip of champagne. I didn’t care how Adam treated me, or if he chose to ignore me. I wasn’t going to let his behavior affect me any longer. I’d just concentrate on Max.

“Hi guys!” Gabby pulled me into a hug and Adam shadowed her side. Gabby had on a leather dress that looked biker sexy, and Adam had a leather vest with a t-shirt and jeans. They looked like a cool couple and again, I questioned whether they were sleeping together. It wasn’t that I thought Gabby was lying. It was more that I felt eventually, they’d realize they were a good match. The thought hurt, but I pasted a smile on my face as I waited to see if Adam would acknowledge me. He fist bumped Max and greeted the others.

Adam turned toward me. “Hey, good to see you, Landon.”

I blinked in shock at the greeting. It was neutral, but not cold and mocking. His gaze held mine and there was no hatred or anger. “You, too,” I said.

He nodded and moved toward Elle and the tense moment passed. I felt a gaze burning into me and glanced around to see who was studying me.

Gabby stared back, lashes half lowered, red lips pursed thoughtfully. I remembered her curiosity about me and Adam on the beach, and how she claimed she wanted to protect me from his insults. So, I gave her a big smile like I was happy we were getting along, and she gave me the thumbs up sign. Relief flooded through me. Maybe things were beginning to settle.

We fell into our usual dynamics, partying and drinking and catching up. We danced our asses off during Noah’s sets, while Daisy went back and forth a few times to check on him. Adam didn’t distance himself from me. Instead, he kept himself part of the conversation even when I was involved, and I began to relax.

Maybe we’d both come to the same conclusion and were letting go. I was sad and grateful at the same time and wished hard that we’d never crossed the line. It was so much easier to let go of what you never tasted.

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