Page 51 of Yearn

Iwoke up half drugged with a headache. Moaning, I rolled over in the comfy sheets and blinked myself awake.

What a night. It had been the perfect birthday. From the fine dining, to the energy of the club, to the sinful slide into oblivion, we’d partied like never before. Flashes of memory came to me in bits; of Max cupping my ass as he held me tight, grinding against his hard cock while we danced next to Adam and Gabby; of Adam’s forceful gaze pinning mine as he kissed Gabby, making me watch, making me remember what it felt like to have those lips on mine just hours ago. It had given me shame. It had gotten me hot, until my panties were wet and dos and don’t’s blurred.

When Max carried me upstairs, we had sex on the floor, unable to get to the bed, and my orgasm had been so intense I’d practically screamed the roof off. I’d wanted to do it again, buthe laughed and rolled over, teasing that I’d made him deaf. With the pills still running warm and heavy in my blood, I asked Max to tell me what he wanted; to order me to do what he craved.

I loved the glint of interest in his blue eyes. “Touch your breasts,” he’d commanded, and when I did, he told me how beautiful I was, how happy he was we were together. I asked for more, but he treated it like a game, playfully slapping my ass, taking me from behind while I reared back and fantasized about him pulling my hair, grinding my cheek into the mattress while he forced me to take his cock; of all the dirty ways he’d make me serve and remind him I belonged to him.

Instead, he caressed my ass and whispered love words in my ear until he finished with a shudder and a satisfied grin.

I didn’t come. I’m glad I didn’t. It was a good punishment for thinking about bad things when Max only wanted to please and love me, and not treat me like a plaything.

Shaking off the memory, I brushed my teeth, put my hair up, and threw my sweats on. I needed coffee, and the way Max was snoring, it would be a while before he got up. I took the elevator to the lobby and weaved my way through the morning crowd to wait on line.

Adam was ahead of me.

He turned half around, pulling back slightly as our gazes locked. The memories of our kiss and last night reared up like a wave, crashing and drowning us both. His pupils dilated, and his lush lips opened as if to say something intimate, and my heart beat crazily in my chest and hoped to God he’d say something to help us both.

“Hey.”

I nodded. “Hey.” We moved up and didn’t speak.

He cleared his throat. “Did you have a good time last night?”

“Yeah. It was pretty wild. You?”

“It was intense.”

My heart ached as I stared at him. My fingers itched to push the hair off his brow. I wish I had the right.

I wondered if he’d slept with Gabriella last night, even though she’d told me their relationship was friend zoned. Was she naked, sprawled on his sheets, her body smelling of sex and Adam? Wearing the imprint of his hands all over? Had he thought of me as he came, like I had of him? We’d all been fucked up—anything could have happened.

“Where’s Max?” he asked.

The question hit like a gunshot. “Sleeping.” I paused. “Where’s Gabby?”

He shrugged. “Probably the same.”

I wondered what he’d do if I stepped forward and pulled his mouth to mine. A part of me wondered if we slept together just once, would it soothe the constant craving? Would it cool the crackling sexual tension that threatened every time we got close? Would we finally be free? Or would it be like shutting the jail cell and locking us in forever?

“I’m heading home, Landon. Was the weekend everything you wanted?”

My throat ached. We had to stop this. I had to stop this. The kiss had made things worse, opening a portal between us that had been safely closed. Now, there was nothing stopping my yearning for him.

But I’d chosen Max.

“Yes.” He moved up another step, getting closer to the counter and further away from me. Fuck it. Things had to be said. “What are we going to do about the kiss?”

I heard the catch of his breath. He pinned me with those seething dark eyes, devouring me whole like he had last night in the club. “What do you want to do?”

“I don’t know.”

It was the most honest thing I’d admitted. I was about to move in with Max next week so we could start the next chapter in our lives together. I’d made a terrible mistake, but I didn’t know how to fix it or move on.

“He’s moving in soon, right?”

I nodded.

“Then there’s really nothing to do, Landon.”

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