Page 31 of Yearn

I walked and smoked and thought. No matter what I was ready for, Landon was the one who had to make the next move. She could blow it all up and take a chance with me. She could pretend tonight never happened and try her best to put Pandora’s box back together. She could be honest and confess to Max I’d come on to her. The options were endless and I wasn’t in control.

The thought actually calmed me. There was no need for me to make any decisions until Landon did. I sure as hell wasn’t going to tip the scales and tell her about Max and the video. I wanted her completely committed to this fucked up road no matter what she believed about Max. It was another issue I had with women. I wanted to own them, body and mind and soul. A night of sex was perfect to scratch my itch, especially with women who weren’t afraid of my need to control. But the woman I eventually fell for?

I’d known I was fucked up. Accepted it years ago, when I wondered if my father had given me such darkness and I’d never be able to have a normal relationship. Now, I didn’t care what anyone termed normal. It was what I wanted and needed and I refused to apologize. There were others like me.

Landon was one of them. She just wasn’t ready to face the truth of who she was.

I knew I could set her free. Could release her body and mind from the prison she’d put herself in with Max. But she had to ask me for it.

My breathing calmed. I stamped out my cigarette. I’d wait and see.

I let myself into my place—a basic hole in the wall in the Meatpacking district over a Thai takeout restaurant. It was a one room studio, and the air was always filled with spice. I didn’t care though. It was cheap and I didn’t have a roommate. It was a space I could sleep, screw, and work on my music. I was saving for something bigger.

I stripped and stepped into the shower. The pressure was decent and the temperature hot, so I soaped up, closed my eyes, and pulled the memory of Landon’s face when she stared back at me, horror and arousal and hunger swirling in her beautiful blue eyes. I imagined her pink lips opening over my cock, taking me fully, sucking hard as her sweet tongue licked over me.

Grabbing my cock, I fisted my hand and worked myself, fantasizing Landon in my bed, her luscious naked body bare for my gaze, legs spread wide, wet pussy open for anything I wanted to do or give or take. I’d torture her, forcing her orgasm to the edge and holding her there. I’d tease her clit and shove inside her tight cunt, pinning her down as I took her with savage strokes, until she begged me for release.

My hand moved faster. I threw my head back and came hard as I imagined her screaming my name.

Her name spilled from my own lips. I collapsed against the wet tiles, breathing hard, sated.

I toweled off, and threw myself on the mattress, naked. My phone buzzed. Curiosity peaked so I answered.

“Gabby? What’s up?”

“Did you catch up with her?”

I paused. Was she playing games like Landon accused? Over the past week, we’d talked and hung out and I enjoyed her company. She seemed like a straight shooter, and I admired her ambition. I also thought she was getting a bad rap from the girls. Sure, she flirted with Max, but I knew how he worked and it was guaranteed he flirted right back. I also knew how savage Landoncould get when her territory was poached. It pissed me off, but I also understood possessiveness. If she was mine, I would destroy any guy who touched her. But I also wouldn’t give her reason to doubt I was hers, body and soul. It had to work both ways.

“Who?”

Gabriella laughed. “Really, we’re going to pretend? Landon. I saw both of your faces when you looked at each other. Gotta admit, I was knocked on my ass. Didn’t see that surprise coming.”

I wasn’t about to admit anything. I didn’t trust her one hundred percent. “Landon is with Max.”

“For now. Come on, Adam, I’m on your side. I don’t like her, but if you want her, something decent must be there. Maybe if I broke through her barrier, she’d be just as loyal to me, which isn’t a bad trait. The bigger question is if Landon’s ready to leave Max. I’m not sure she’s brave enough.”

The words pierced with truth. I thought about having someone to confide in about my fucked-up feelings, but I’d been burned before. Trust was earned, slowly. Not given in an impulsive action because I needed a confidante.

“Sorry, Gabby, I don’t know what you’re talking about. Nothing’s going on with us. But if you’re trying to steal Max for yourself, you may have a fight on your hands with Landon.”

A snort came over the line. “Who says I want Max? Maybe I’m feeling things out with everyone.”

Curiosity peaked. “Why do you want in with this crowd so bad? I’m not sure we’re worth the effort. You must have a ton of other friends who want to hang with you.”

“I do. But there’s something about all of you that draws me. Not sure what it is yet, but I’ll find out. In the meantime, I won’t push. You’ll trust me eventually.”

I kept silent. My instincts said she was telling the truth, but I’d wait and see. “Thanks for coming out to see me tonight.”

“You killed it. Check out my video—I taped you live and you’re a huge hit. You may want to look at your TikTok. Bet you have a bunch of new follows.”

I hated social media but it was a necessary evil. I had a YouTube and TikTok account but it was like a monster needing constant feeding. I don’t know how Landon and Gabby did it. “Appreciate it.”

“No prob. Talk later.”

I hung up, then scrolled to my apps. Watching myself sing live was a strange thing, but the likes kept pouring in with comments. It’s what I needed to get more exposure. I didn’t want to pimp myself out as a singer, but if people liked the actual songs, I may get a break with a contact wanting to work with me.

With thoughts of my career and Landon tangling in my brain, I finally fell into a restless sleep.

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