Page 24 of Yearn

“I’ll have the filet; you can taste some. Rare.”

My fingers trembled as I punched it into my iPad. He knew what she liked to eat. He called her honey. He’d bought her a Ferrari. It had been helpful to tell myself she was a stuck-up bitch, but Lucy seemed genuine. They loved each other.

I was going to throw up.

“Got it. I’ll be right back.”

I rushed away and into the restroom, standing over the toilet while I waited for my stomach to settle. Every part of my life seemed to shrink, mocking me over my inability to be enough for my dad to love. Rationally, I knew it was silly, and that I had done nothing wrong. That’s definitely what a shrink would tell me. My friends reminded me that all the time, including Max. Why couldn’t I just believe it and move on? Why did I feel emotionally hostaged by constantly judging things against what my absent father would think?

It obviously didn’t matter. He’d finally proved it today, barely recognizing me while he lavished attention on Lucy. I needed to find a way to get over his rejection.

Shoving the heartbreak deep down, I re-settled myself and went back to my job.

I delivered their food, kept my smile pasted brightly, and made sure I rushed around so it looked like I had no time to chat. I dropped off the bill, which he paid with a Platinum American Express card, and gave me a huge tip of $250.

His polished smile was polite. “Nice to see you, Landon. Good luck with everything.”

“I’m so glad we met,” Lucy said. “Maybe we can get together some time?”

My father’s tight-lipped expression told me his thoughts. “We’ll see,” I said gaily. “Have a wonderful day!”

I watched them walk out together. It felt like a piece of me went with them. The piece that had held the last ray of hope;hope my father would suddenly realize he’d been a dick and appear to apologize, wanting me to be part of his family.

I refused to be stupid again.

Monday night came too fast, and I didn’t want to go see Adam. Since I’d run into my father, there was an awful vulnerability and sadness inside I couldn’t seem to shake. I pretended not to care, telling Max about the encounter and refusing to accept his pity. Max’s family was the kind you see in movies: the rich jetsetters who travel, look fabulous, and hold a tight bond. His mom was lovely, and ruled over the three boys like a maternal dictator, yet Max talked about her with such adoration it ranged on Mama boy territory. Max got away with a lot more leeway since he was the youngest, and his parents were allowing him to explore his life and the fitness/modeling career he pursued. If he failed, there’d be a job in their family company of sports equipment Max could fill, even internationally. His backup plan was flawless—he had every safety net available.

I imagined how nice that would be. To know the people you love would always be there for support, even if you screwed up.

I headed over to Nowhere Somewhere to meet the crew. I’d barely seen Max all weekend. He’d stayed in the city after the Yankee game Friday night, and didn’t get back until Saturday night. He’d done his shift at Red, then disappeared Sunday for a family event. He’d promised to meet me at the club since he’d gotten delayed, so I’d get the full story from him when we saw each other.

Cooper had a photo shoot, and Elle got called in for a possible role, so they wouldn’t be there. I figured I’d hang with Daisy and Noah for a drink, listen to Adam sing, congratulate him, and gohome. I was exhausted and needed to catch up on some sleep since I had a busy week.

I walked into the lounge, which was set up with low slung couches, gorgeous chandeliers, a wooden curved bar with gold accents, and a small raised stage near the window. The view was gorgeous, with the city spread out below. I was the first to arrive. Adam had reserved a couch for us near the front, so I ordered an espresso martini and settled in.

Daisy and Noah finally walked in and squished with me on the couch. “Sorry, we’re late. I couldn’t get out of the hospital on time, and Noah booked a last-minute gig downtown. We have to leave right after Adam’s set,” Daisy explained, adjusting her position on the red velvet cushion.

“I’m sure Adam will understand,” I said. “Elle and Coop had jobs tonight so they’re not going to be here. And I’m still waiting for Max to show.” “

Where is he?” Noah asked.

“At his family’s place in Boston since Sunday. Haven’t seen him since Friday. Heard the Yankee game was so good you stayed over,” I teased.

Noah nodded. “Ended up going to the bar and seeing a few players. It ran late so we ended up staying with some friends instead of taking the train back.”

I leaned toward him. “Hey, how’s the song going with Elle? I keep forgetting to ask.”

His eyes lit up. “She’s killing it. I’m thinking of booking a session at Adam’s studio to record the song.”

Daisy shook her head. “He’s obsessed. Thinks it can be huge. But now Elle got that part in the show, she doesn’t have as much time.”

“I’ll work around her schedule,” Noah said. “She’s worth waiting for.”

I studied him, curious at the strange hum in his voice. Before I had time to figure out why Noah’s words seemed to have hidden meaning, Adam came out on stage. I was struck again by his raw presence; waves of male energy seemed to radiate around him, making the crowd stop and pause. His long hair was tied back, with a black beanie slouched over his head. He wore dark wash jeans and a vintage white t-shirt, giving that don’t-give-a-fuck cool vibe naturally. He held his guitar with loose, graceful fingers, straddling the stool and adjusting the mic. Heat washed over me as I took him in, remembering our intimate encounter at the club. I deliberately looked down at my phone to see if Max had reached out, but there was only silence.

Where was he?

Adam’s voice rumbled over the mic, a sexy, smoky sound that shot straight to my core. Damn him for making me uncomfortable. Damn him for being part of our group and forcing me to be around him. Damn him period.

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