Page 77 of Yearn

Then I fucked her over and over until she screamed my name and came hard, milking my cock while she clung to me like I was her God.

And I swore I would be.

Her God. Her everything.

No matter what the cost.

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Max

Listen to I’m In Love With You

by The 1975

I’d lost her.

I wasn’t expecting the brutal agony ripping through my body as I walked out of Red, shaky with regret and the post adrenalin of a fight. I’d gotten lucky with Rock—normally any type of physical altercation would have gotten my ass fired, but he’d seen my torment and gave me a break. I was on suspension for the rest of the week to get my shit together. Instead of trying to change his mind, I’d thanked him and gotten out after apologizing to Randy. He hadn’t been happy but grudgingly accepted. After my head cleared, I knew it wasn’t Randy I was mad at, or even those assholes who’d tried to pick up Landon tonight.

It was myself.

I was a fucking cliché.

I’d found the woman I loved but thought I’d never get caught. I was a greedy, selfish bastard and now I’d paid the ultimate price. The shame of my betrayal throbbed inside me like an open wound. My head spun as I tried to make sense of my actions and cockiness. Had it simply been about the thrill of not getting caught? Or was I so used to getting what I want, I’d stopped caring about the things I already had?

My life had never been about revelations or self-analysis. I didn’t have any type of fucked up past like some of my friends. My parents were still married and loved each other. I’d been raised with plenty of money and as long as I made a good argument and worked hard, I was given what I wanted. I was solidly smart—not brilliant or talented in a specific art, but generally smart. Things came easy to me, including Landon, but she’d been the bright spot in a mostly dull world where nothing surprised me. I craved color and vibrancy and surprise. It was another reason I liked to walk the edge of safety. But I’d never lost anything this important to me. The sting of pain was new, and I didn’t like it.

I despised such a weakness and needed to make things right. Problem was I had no idea how.

Deciding to walk to get my jumbled thoughts in order, I quickly pulled out my phone and texted out a help message to the guys.

Dudes, I’m fucked up. Got thrown out of Red. Landon won’t talk to me. Anyone around?

I walked and waited for a response. The icy reception from the girls was hard to take but understandable. Of course, they’d have Landon’s back and it was a good thing. But if I could get one of them to listen, maybe they’d be able to tell me what I should do. I desperately needed advice from a female who knew Landon, because all of my instincts told me to keep pushing hard on the apologies and begging. Just a nugget of feedbackwould soothe my nerves and give me something to work toward. I looked down as a text from Noah came in.

Shit so sorry man. At a gig rest of night. Diner in morning?

I texted him back yes.

Coop’s response came in shortly after.Tried to talk to Elle but now she’s pissed at me, too. I’m out of town on a photo shoot—back tomorrow. Lay low, man. It’ll pass.

I never heard back from Adam. He was probably with his new band. Irritation with the quick way he shed me as a friend hit, making me want to push back on him but I didn’t have enough energy.

Cursing, I fumbled with my phone and took a wild chance, even though I didn’t expect anything. Gabby was the weakest link to Landon since she was new. Maybe she’d take pity on me.

Gabby, I’m sorry. Fucked up tonight. I’m broken. Can we talk after work about Landon? Please.

I figured she’d block me or blister my ass but I was counting on her to like my begging and feel superior over being Landon’s friend. I didn’t care, I needed to take some type of action or my head would explode.

It took a while, but eventually she texted me back.

Ok. Meet you at 1am. Where r u?

I let out a breath in relief and texted her the dive bar address in front of me. I went inside and ordered a beer, keeping to myself and passing time. Finally, I looked up and saw Gabby enter. She’d changed out of her uniform and into a pair of ripped denim capris and sleeveless black concert tank. Her hair was pinned up but strands escaped and fell wildly to frame her face. As she walked over, I took a moment to admire her spectacular curves and earthy sensuality. Adam was lucky. I’d asked him a few times how she was in bed but he’d refused to give me details.Landon had said they weren’t fucking but I knew Adam wouldn’t say no to good pussy.

“Thanks for coming. What are you drinking?” I asked.

Her features remained cool and distant as she looked at me. I didn’t flinch under her gaze, knowing this was an uphill battle. “Tequila and soda.”

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