Page 42 of Yearn

I imagined what it would be like if Elle was mine. How we’d connect physically, emotionally, and mentally. I spun up images of us entwined together in the bed, sitting up naked and creating music together, caught up in our perfect world. I’d be her supporter, her confidante, her lover. I’d be anything she wanted or needed me to be.

Hell, I was as fucked up as Coop and Max. I loved a woman who’d never be mine. And I was dating a woman who saw the best in me, who was sweet and funny and loyal. A woman who could be my future, if only I could love her in the passionate, hungry, overwhelming way I silently loved Elle.

The other part of me wondered if it really mattered. I’d read an article that said people made a decision on who to love. That there were people who were bad for you and no matter how you loved them, you were better off with someone else. Elle was my friend, and would never see me as boyfriend material. She burned a bit brighter than most and at my heart, I was a slow burn. But if she could be in my life, and I could help her with music, it would be enough.

I’d only been dating Daisy for about six months and we kept growing stronger. She grounded me and never pushed for more than I could give. There was an ease to us I liked, and low drama. I’d die if I ever dated Landon—the woman was like aheroine starring in her own television series, courting drama at every turn. Daisy’s heart was pure in a way I hadn’t found in a woman before—she was happiest when she was helping others, yet knew how to have fun. Everyone adored her, including me. And though we hadn’t declared our love for each other, maybe I could get there. Because in a way, I already loved Daisy and who she was, and who we could be together. It was just a different type of love.

Was one really better than the other? Or was it a simple decision? A choice?

I’d never cheat on Daisy, even with Elle. At least, physically. Being an emotional cheater was hard enough to accept, but I wasn’t perfect. I was trying. And with time, everything could change.

I finished my beer, rinsed the bottle, and recycled it.

There was a quick knock on the door. I glanced at my watch, surprised I’d lost so much time with my thoughts, and let her in.

“Hey, sweet buns. What’s cooking tonight?”

I groaned at her awful, cheesy lines, but her cheeky grin and sweet kiss made me laugh. “Chipotle?” I suggested.

“Oh, then I’d call you my hot tamale,” she said with an exaggerated wink.

I shook my head. “It keeps getting worse.”

“I have no brain cells left for intelligent banter.” She dropped her purse and stretched her neck. Her scrubs were dirty and her pony tail unkempt, but Daisy didn’t care about her appearance. It was another thing I adored—she didn’t try to make a living turning herself into someone the world would like. “My patients were tough today. It was a full moon.”

I rubbed her shoulders and she sighed, leaning against me. Her delicate build hid a strength easily missed. She was able to lift grown men and flip them on a hospital bed. She also had two brothers who’d taught her wrestling moves. She demonstratedthem when I pissed her off one night, and I’d found myself lying flat on my back on the floor, while she stood over me, glaring. “Hmm, should we spring for cupcakes? That always puts you in a better mood.”

“Red velvet?”

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Sure. Goes well with tacos. Hey, are you clear to go with us to AC for Landon’s birthday?”

“Yep, I got someone to cover my shift, but it means working this weekend. So, no going out for me, I’m on twenty-four-hour call.”

“It’ll be worth it, especially when we win big at the casino.”

She grinned and rubbed her hands together. “My palms have been feeling itchy. It’s a sign.” I watched as she slid the band out of her hair and shook out the honey strands. “Wanna take a shower with me?”

My body responded immediately but I was thrown off by the flash of guilt. I hadn’t done anything, but thinking about Elle and being with her this afternoon had brought up some doubts. It didn’t feel right to have sex with Daisy right now. Not until she was the only woman I was thinking about.

“Sorry, I have to run out. I’ll grab the food and then we’ll have a nice night in. Okay?”

“Okay. Oh, get extra sauce on mine.”

“Always.”

She blew me a kiss and disappeared into the bathroom. Lines were getting blurred. Daisy had been here almost all week and though I didn’t intend to move in with her any time soon, I saw the possibilities ahead. She gave me my space and never asked probing questions. She was great company and a great lover. On paper, Daisy was perfect.

I imagined her trim, lithe figure naked, the soap bubbles foaming on her pale skin. Imagined her gaze locked on mine asI leaned in and kissed her, hauling her up and pressing her back against the tiled shower wall as I slipped between her thighs and found my release in her sweet little body.

I almost turned around and joined her, the image vividly stamped into my brain, making my dick hard.

Until I heard Elle’s voice screaming my name in pleasure, in demand, over and over, and over….

I walked out instead.

Chapter Nineteen

Landon

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