Page 83 of Breathe Again

Bex, Willa, and I didn’t take long to get wound up. Our drink orders were taken and regularly replenished by Zale, Rhys, or Barrett. We didn’t leave the table except to go to the bathroom and that we did together. This is how it often happened when we got together, the three of us. Our mutual admiration society created a cocoon of love, and our combined personalities created a hive of zaniness and laughter.

Zale leaned over me on his way to the bathroom. “You are never more beautiful than when you’re laughing.” He paused and smiled his half smile. “Or when you’re under me. That’s also a good look on you.”

Happiness bubbled up in my chest and I knew he saw it because he smiled wider and pinched my chin when he stood straight. I watched him walk away. He excused himself as he passed a group of women who were blocking the hallway to the bathrooms.

One of them brazenly looked him up and down and lay her hand on his arm. I felt the blood drain from my face. I wanted to rip her hair out, I could picture it, feel the strands in my fist.

He smiled and shook his head, then continued on his way to the bathroom. She looked at her friends and fanned her face, laughing.

I looked away but the picture of her burned into my brain. My polar opposite, tall, sleek blond hair cut in a stylish bob, lean and long-legged, her dress classy and sexy all at once.

I looked down, not wanting to see Zale pass by her again. Afraid he would look, sick that he might wish he could go there. I didn’t realize I’d dropped out of the conversation until I felt Rhys and Barrett looking at me, with concern and compassion. I smiled quickly, unwrapped my arms from around my waist, and turned away from them as well, looking out onto the dance floor.

“You want to dance, Merry?” Bex asked softly.

Willa stood up. “Well, I do. Let’s go!”

I pushed the thoughts about Zale to the back of my mind for the moment. I couldn’t know his thoughts. I couldn’t do anything about them either. I had to trust. I had promised myself in Stratford I wouldn’t watch him talk to other women, but that one took me by surprise. We’d been doing this dance for so many years, and I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable like I had in the past. I remembered the woman at his work function, and I winced.

“You okay?” Willa asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. Let’s go.”

On the dance floor I could let loose. I loved to dance. Willa loved to dance. Both of us danced through life, in the kitchen, in the living room, the music slipped under our skins and animated our bones, and we went happily where it led. Bex loved to dance too, but only when we were all together. We were up for about an hour, when a man about my age approached our little group.

He smiled at us easily. “Hello, I’m Gabe. I would love to buy you a drink. Will you come sit with me awhile?”

I looked at Willa, to wait for her response. Meanwhile, she was looking at me.

“Why are you looking at me?” I laughed. “You need my permission?”

Willa looked at me funny. “Mara, he’s talking to you, not me.”

“What?” The laugh fell off my face and I looked back at the man standing a tiny bit closer to me than before.

He spoke again, held out his hand. “My name is Gabe. Would you like to have a drink with me at the bar?”

He was handsome. Not as gorgeous as Zale, who was, incidentally, heading my way at that moment, but handsome just the same.

I held out my hand and he closed his around it. “I’m Mara. Thank you for asking but I’m married, and I’m here with my husband.” I indicated Zale, who was coming up right behind him, his jaw tight. I tugged my hand, and he released it.

He turned, dipped his chin once, and smiled ruefully at Zale. “Lucky man, my mistake.”

Zale nodded back to him, unsmiling. Gabe turned to look at me again and offered a sweet smile before turning and walking away. I watched him as he left, wondering what he could possibly have seen in me. Maybe he thought I’d be easy since I was the frumpy one. I lowered my gaze to the floor, embarrassed and ashamed, suddenly convinced that was true.

Zale tugged on my hand. “You okay, gorgeous?”

I couldn’t meet his eyes. I felt sorry for him being stuck with me. I nodded.

I followed him back to the table and the girls came along as well. I didn’t want to be on the dance floor anymore. I felt too exposed.

We sat at our table, and with such good company and conversation, I easily shook off what happened on the dance floor. A couple more drinks served to relax me as well. Zale stayed close,his hand on my hip, or across the back of my chair playing with a wayward curl while he talked and laughed with Rhys and Barrett. He smiled at me often with his eyes, and I started to feel warm and wanted.

We got home close to one o’clock. The house quietly welcomed us home. Having it to ourselves was a treat. I couldn’t wait to be with him. I hurried through my bathroom routine and came out to find him curled on his side, close to sleep.

“I bought you something last time I went shopping, something I didn’t get a chance to wear in Stratford.”

He turned and lifted up to lean on his elbow, smiled at me appreciatively, then apologetically. “You look beautiful, Mara, but I’m wiped.”

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