Page 140 of Breathe Again

A tear welled and slipped over, sliding across her nose, and dropping on the pillow.

He lay down in front of her, struggling to fit in the bit of space between her and the side of the bed. “You’re my favorite everything.”

She shook her head.

He wrapped his arms around her, holding her tightly. “Yes, you are. You are my favorite, you are my everything, you are my reason, the reason I do everything I do.”

She didn’t speak but tucked her head under his chin, drew in a shuddering breath.

“I’m sick of this,” she whispered.

“Sick of what?”

“The up and down. The uncertainty. The constant fucking drama.”

“Let’s take a break today.”

She scoffed. “How am I supposed to take a break from my own brain?”

“Distraction.”

He knew this was one of her tools.

“Yeah?” She sounded hopeful. “How will we do that?”

“We’ll get ready, go for a drive to Dean and Sophie’s for a coffee, pick up take-out for lunch if Sophie doesn’t feed us, come home and work in the garden, I’ll barbeque for dinner, and we’ll have a fire in the pit tonight when it starts to get dark.”

She tensed at the mention of going to Dean and Sophie’s but seemed to be on board by the time he finished talking.

It would be good for Mara to see Sophie. God knows, Sophie needed to cluck over her. She was driving him crazy with the constant phone calls.

“You’d like that, too? Not just for me?”

“I’ll like it, too.”

“Okay.”

“Good.”

He gathered her closer then dipped his chin and felt her freeze up. He brushed his lips across her forehead, down the side of her face, feeling her tilt her chin to give him access, his heart smiled. His lips traveled back up along her hairline, the corner of her eye, the tip of her nose, and then, with his fingers tipping up her chin, andtrepidation in her eyes, he lightly brushed his mouth across hers, just once, before turning and near falling off the damn bed.

She snorted out a laugh as he staggered to his feet, and he grinned at her. A stolen slice of light.

The drive out to Dean’s was tense with anticipation. Once there, Sophie did what Sophie always did, and Mara left much happier than when they first arrived. He had no doubt Sophie would be there for her over the following months.

They had a peaceful family day, the kind that could hit the reset button for the whole week, and he sincerely hoped it had. They lay down that night facing each other. With their music playing softly in the background, he kissed her just as he had that morning, and she fell asleep before he did.

One and The Same

Mara

The urge to call my mother is difficult to resist.

Not knowing how she is doing fills me with anxiety, I can feel it sitting on my chest, rolling in my stomach.

Strangely, I want to be comforted by her, but I cannot remember the last time she offered me anything close to comfort.

It’s become apparent to me, that there are switches inside me, that she installed, to make me feel responsible for her, to make me seek out that which is not good for me, namely her.

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