Page 134 of Breathe Again

“Okay, get it ready and go to the bathroom.”

Olivia left to pack her bag and he cleaned up the card game before going looking for Mara. He found her sitting on their bed, staring into space.

“Did you find out where they order from?”

She startled at the sound of my voice, eyes wide, lips parted, her hand on her chest.

“What? Yes.” She took a deep breath.

“You want me to make the order?”

“No, I got it.”

Mara made the order; it would be ready for pick up in 30 minutes.

“We’re all going to go, that good with you, baby?”

“Will Olivia go for it?”

“Yes, but we have to pick up ice cream, too.”

Mara smiled. “Fair enough. What’s she doing now?”

“Getting her bag of happiness ready, going to the bathroom.”

“You got her to agree to do all that? Maybe you should be the stay-at-home parent.”

“Not a chance!” He laughed, then explained, “I don’t have that kind of patience, or your genius in figuring out what to do when the usual methods don’t work. She’s on her best behavior, a bit unsure of what’s going on.” He smiled wryly. “We’ll pay for it next week.”

She smiled ruefully. “This is true, but for now, we’ll go get our Greek on.”

Later, when Olivia was in bed, he watched Mara pace around, poking around in the kitchen, tidying an already tidy sunroom, avoiding looking at him or getting too close.

“Want to watch a movie in bed?”

She raised startled eyes to him and seemed to weigh her options. “Yes, I’d like that.”

He realized she felt nervous to go to bed with him. Afraid that he’d move to take her? Afraid that he wouldn’t? He’d see if she’d let him hold her while they watched the movie, see if he could get a read on her.

He didn’t want to push too hard, but he didn’t want her to think he didn’t want her either. He did want her, painfully. He cursed under his breath, never having felt so lost and never more certain that he needed to know the way.

They watched a movie, Mara tucked against his chest, his hand caressing her hip. She remained still in his arms, which was odd. She responded like no woman he’d ever known, unable to stop herself from arching into his hand, pressing her chest against his side, little sighs escaping her lips, and there was none of that.

He switched his mindset to doing what he could to relax her, smoothing his hand across her back, resting his cheek on the top of her head, whispering I love yous.

When the movie ended he hazarded a glance in her direction. She was closed up tight. “Mara?”

“Yes?”

“Do you want…” He only got those three words out and saw panic in her eyes, he continued, “to listen to our playlist while we go to sleep?”

Her face expressed simultaneous relief and sadness. That was not hard to interpret. He may have to push, it wouldn’t be the first time he had to push to get them back to normal, but not tonight.

He added a new song, Red’s ‘Not Alone,’ set up the speaker, and pressed play. While he did that he spoke softly.

“Remember in Stratford, you told me you thought the problems we were having were because of me?”

“Yes,” she snorted out a bitter laugh.

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