Page 131 of Breathe Again

“Fuuuuuuck. Now I’m the one who feels like throwing things.”

“I’m not cleaning up any more of your messes,” Rhys responded drily.

Zale snorted and Rhys chuckled. “You did some reading.”

“I did.”

“It looks like her emotions are a little more under control at least. She has good therapy now, she’ll learn how to deal, but it’s going to take time for her to regain her equilibrium after a break like that.”

“What do I do in the meantime? She’s so spacey, and she seems to be holding herself apart.”

It was strange asking for advice from another man about his wife. He was used to looking after her. He knew her better than anyone, but he was lost. How lost must she feel?

Rhys looked sideways at him. “What would you normally do?”

The answer was so simple really, it wouldn’t fix anything, but it could give her a firmer foundation from which to start the work she needed to do.

“Huh.” He didn’t say it aloud, but Rhys read him loud and clear.

He turned with a smirk on his face and put a hand on Zale’s shoulder. “Until she can’t even think or breathe, for as many days as it takes, until she regains her balance.”

Rhys blew out a short breath, then continued, staring off into space. “When I got Amy back, after those three months when she left me? I thought my dick was going to fall off. It slowed down as she got a handle on things. I normally would not talk about this, and I never talk to anyone about Amy, her privacy is important to me, so I understand how difficult it is for you to talk about Mara, but I care about you guys. If I can give you information that can help you over this next hurdle, information I wished somebody had given me, I’m happy to do it. Just, keep it to yourself.” He took a long draught of his beer and shook his head. “Our women talk, man.”

Zale grimaced, but his eyes crinkled. “Like fuckin’ magpies.”

It was a relatively short visit, but it felt like years passed before they all left. Later that evening, he peeked into Olivia’s room. Mara lay on her side, her arm around Olivia’s waist, Sirius curled on top of Olivia’s feet.

His girls.

His world.

His purpose.

He slipped out of the room silently, not wanting to wake Olivia, giving Mara space with their daughter. This was not a usual part ofthe routine, but understandable under the circumstances. He set up the Bluetooth speaker in their bedroom, hoping she’d listen to the playlist with him at night, praying she would let him hold her.

He couldn’t read her signals. She had locked herself down like he’d never seen before, holding herself apart from him where he’d grown used to her striving always to be close. He added the next song to the playlist.

He waited for her for an hour before going to Olivia’s room to see if she was ready to come to bed only to find her sound asleep. He sighed, not wanting to wake her, but more, not wanting to push her.

The extra blankets on the blanket ladder would do for tonight. He covered Mara, sat down in the armchair in Olivia’s room, covered himself, and went to sleep within arm’s reach of everything he needed.

We Were Both Wrong

Mara

I woke up in the early hours Friday morning, disoriented. At first, not feeling Zale’s big warm body beside me, I thought I was still at the hospital. I opened my eyes slowly and took in the view of Olivia’s armchair where Zale folded in on himself, asleep. I looked at the clock, it was only five a.m. I slipped away from Olivia who was spread-eagled across her bed and approached my man. He looked tired, hisface drawn.

I touched his shoulder and he startled. “Shh, it’s early, come to our bed.”

He rubbed his face and unfurled his long body from Olivia’s chair, grimacing at the stiffness in his limbs. He followed me closely as I left the room.

In our bedroom I stripped down quickly and grabbed a nightie. He stripped down to his boxers and lifted the covers on my side for me to slip in. I looked at him warily, hoping he wasn’t expecting anything.

He read my face easily. “Just going to hold you, okay, Mara?”

I nodded and he moved in on his side, rolling to shove his arm underneath me and pull me to his side. My head went to its place on his pec and his hand wrapped around my hip, while his other hand covered mine over his heart.

We both sighed deeply. Home again. I wondered if he was just used to me and didn’t want to change, or maybe he didn’t want to disrupt Olivia. Maybe that sigh was him resigning himself to being stuck with me. God knows I was no prize. I pushed the thoughts from my head, needing to concentrate on getting well, I couldn't afford to get caught up in guessing games.

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