Page 5 of Breathe Again

Thank God some things just went over her head and didn’t faze her at all. There wasn’t much that did not affect her, at least with these verbal manipulations, most went uncaught.

I followed my mother to the kitchen.

“Want a coffee, Mara?”

“Sure, Mom.”

She motioned toward the coffee maker that sat uncleaned since the morning.

“Set it up for us and I’ll be back in a moment,” she directed as she left the kitchen.

Of course, I thought uncharitably. I cleaned out the coffeemaker, started a fresh pot, and arranged the donuts Olivia and I bought on a plate.

“Livvy, come get your donut, little bird.”

I bought three Vanilla Dip donuts, Olivia’s favorite, so she could have two even if my mom decided that she wanted the same one. I put one on a plate, and she took it back to her chair.

“Gran-Gran bought you a treat! Come and see!” Bea bounced back into the kitchen with a large bag from Milltown Mall.

I took a deep breath. This rarely went well. Olivia was fussy about what she wore, and Bea took offense far too easily when she felt her efforts were not appreciated.

She pulled open the bag and took out a pair of soft leggings and patterned t-shirt. I released the breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. Olivia would accept this.

“Thank you, Gran-Gran.”

“That’s not all!” She pulled a slightly larger pair of leggings out of the bag, along with a slightly larger size of the same t-shirt. There was not much of a difference in size between them. My mom was thin and petite.

“Gran-Gran is going to match with you!”

Olivia liked this idea. In another year or two she would cringe, but for now it was all good.

“Mara, I was going to get one for you too…”

“Oh, that’s okay, mom…” I cut her off with a smile, warmed by the fact that she’d thought of me, not wanting her to feel bad that she didn’t buy me a set.

She continued doggedly, “...but I didn’t think they’d have your size.”

She looked at me expectantly, her bright blue eyes wide and guileless.

“That’s fine. You know I prefer to pick out my own clothes. It’s no problem.” I smiled as if I missed the barb while I attempted to fight off the heat threatening to rise in my cheeks.

“Olivia!” she exclaimed. “Let’s put our new outfits on!”

“No, thank you, Gran-Gran,” Olivia replied.

“No, thank you? Try it on for Gran-Gran!” She laughed, but I could hear the edge of indignation. To be thwarted twice in ten minutes was beyond her tolerance.

Olivia did not answer again, she would not see the point in repeating herself, and tiptoed back to her chair.

“She doesn’t like dressing and undressing unnecessarily, Mom. It’s not fun for her.”

“Not everything has to be about her, Mara. You need to take a firmer tone with her. All these diagnoses these doctors hand out willy-nilly, I can’t understand it. Parents these days just don’t know how to keep their children in line.”

“Are you saying I’m one of those parents?” I could feel my blood pressure rising, with the accompanying redness in my face.

“No, no!” she assured me. “I’m just saying you could use some work on your tone to make her mind you.”

“You know, mom, navigating through the day is difficult enough for her, without me putting extra and unnecessary demands on her.”

---