Page 43 of Breathe Again

“Today, I am working with the birds. It is not permissible to touch anything with your bare hands. I am not allowed to handle the birds, but today I get to assist thebird handler.”

“Wow, Livvy!” This was big news. “I did not know that! You must be so excited!”

Olivia loved anything with wings.

“I am. I love birds, I love wings! Did you know a bird’s wing has joints just like our arms?”

She went on to explain the correlation of joints, contorting her arms and shoulders, showing me how birds fly. I’d heard this more times than I could count.

“I did know that because a smart little birdy told me.”

“Mommy, you know I’m not a real bird, right?”

She was growing up, but in some ways, she still seemed so much younger than her years. Her ability to ascertain what others might be thinking in any given situation had improved a lot, but it was still a bit foreign to her. In a way, it was a blessing, her not having to grow up so fast. She got to be a child for a bit longer than her peers. To be fair, when she was younger, she suffered so badly from sensory meltdowns and communication difficulties while her peers were playing that she deserved the extended childhood.

She flew around the room a few more times, then limited the flight to her hands, contorting her fingers to imitate a bird, and she watched her hand in flight all the way to the bathroom to take her shower.

Bex came and picked her up at twelve-thirty. It was always uncomfortably quiet in the house when Olivia first left. Scarilyquiet. Weird how uncomfortable it made me. I went to turn on my music, but thought to call my mother first, talk to someone for a bit.

“Hello?”

“Hi, mom.”

“Mara.”

Hmm, her tone was dry, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. While I was still thinking, she spoke.

“Well, you called me, say something.”

“What?” I asked stupidly.

“Isn’t that what you said to me on Wednesday? I called you, so I should speak?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” I was considering the possibility that she might have had a stroke when she explained.

“I called you Wednesday, and I said you were not saying anything, and you said that I called you, so I should be the one to talk.”

I remembered now. Vividly. I sighed.

“Alright, Mom, I called to see if you wanted to confirm for tomorrow.”

“Oh.” She paused. “Well, this morning I went to Abby’s with the girls, you know how Abby is, always wanting to host? Well, finally we found a day where we could all make it. Anyway, we went there for brunch, and I found out that Abby’s dishes are all mismatched!She says she collected them from all over the world back when she used to travel. Looked to me like she went to Value Village and picked up somebody’s leftovers!” She tittered. “I offered to give her my extra set for when she has company, and she said she’s ‘quite happy with what I have’.”

She imitated Abby using an irritatingly high, falsetto voice.

“Maybe she is. Probably each one is attached to a memory.”

“Maybe. I’d like to go on vacation.”

“Yeah? Where would you like to go?”

“I’m looking at going on a cruise.”

“Nice, Mom! That would be so nice for you!”

“Yes,” she purred. “I’ve been talking to the girls about it. We might do it as a seniors’ trip.”

I was pleased for her. “I think that would be good for you, lots of fun.”

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