Page 138 of Breathe Again

He nodded. “I understand why you might worry about that. Perhaps if that had been my only experience with you, I’d be wary, but it wasn’t. I’ve known you for years Mara, I know your heart, I’ve seen you with your family and mine. I also have experience with your condition.”

He met my eyes, his head cocked to the side, his dark steely blue gaze studying me.

I realized with a shock that he could see me, the me I tried to hide, and he wasn’t appalled.

He began slowly, weighing his words. “I want you to understand that I have nothing but the utmost respect and admiration for you. Who you are, how you managed all these years, how you’ve rebalanced time and again, is nothing short of amazing. I know, in the same way Zale knows, how hard you work. I am honored,” hestressed the word honored by clapping his big hand over his even bigger heart, “that I was there to help you, blessed to have you in my life, and humbled by your strength. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of with me. When you see me, you hold your fucking chin up.”

I studied him right back, saw the truth on his face, and felt the happiness bubble up inside. I laughed suddenly, my head thrown back, then laughed again, meeting his eyes joyfully. The emotions, all of them too big and too close to the surface, but at least this one was positive.

He grinned back at me, and then chuckled, shaking his head. “C’mon back in the house?”

He held the door open, waving me in ahead of him, and slid it shut behind me. Zale was standing where he had a view to the back deck, his face blank and expressionless. I wondered what he was thinking. He locked eyes with me and smiled. I smiled tentatively back, unsure of myself.

Willa called me to come to the table. When I turned back to look at Zale, Rhys had handed him a beer, and they went out front together. Barret followed a moment later, and I sat for the next hour, feeling welcome and at ease, chatting and laughing at the kitchen table with Bex and Willa.

Olivia was having a time, a good one, and she didn’t want it to end. It took Zale’s and my combined efforts to get her out of the house, afeat that took more than half an hour, and included a fair amount of yelling on Olivia’s part.

I worried about how the twins were taking it, but like everything that came their way, they took it in stride. Cole walked up to Olivia while she sat curled up on the couch, Willa beside her lending her comfort, and handed Lilliput to her.

Olivia couldn’t speak to thank him, but she took the dog from him, and that was the beginning of her pulling herself together. Might have to replace that goldfish with a dog we could cart around. Too much to think about right now.

I approached Rebecca. “I’m sorry, Bex.”

She was watching the scene play out between Cole and Olivia, a small smile on her perfect bow lips. “What for?”

“Olivia’s behavior in front of the twins.”

Her eyebrows snapped together. “Don’t apologize for Olivia, she’s got her rights same as you, same as me, same as all of us. You think Amelie doesn’t have episodes? Besides,” she laughed, “this is nothing compared to the meltdown she had last week. She’s good, and she’s good here with us. Stop worrying.”

“She had a meltdown last week?”

Bex shook her head. “Knew you’d focus on that part. Yes, she had a meltdown. It was epic. Of course, your absence was hard on her, however, it had an unexpected benefit, and that is that she had ameltdown, Rhys and I were there for her, and she now trusts us. It’s all good.”

“It shouldn’t have happened.”

“Why not? Only you can be there for Olivia? You want her to only have you?”

“No.” Yes? Maybe that was a secret ‘yes’? “It’s just that I caused her meltdown and that shouldn’t have happened.”

“Well,” Bex replied in her brusque manner, “it did and it’s all good, better even, for her. Now you know you can afford to have a little more faith in her ability to deal and adapt, because she has shown us that she can. She’s strong, strong enough to forge new connections. You gave her that foundation. I’m just happy she chose to connect with us. It’s a gift.” She leaned over and hugged me. “Just like you’re a gift. I love you, Merry.”

My thoughts were spinning but they came to rest on her final words and the only ones that really counted in the end.

“I love you, too, Bex. Thank you for loving her.”

Rebecca smiled. “It’s not hard.”

I grinned. “This is true.”

“True for you, too.”

I ducked my head, not ready to admit that possibility.

She snorted. “If I was a man I’d noogie you and put you in a headlock until you tapped out.”

I laughed. “You’ve been watching too many fights with Rhys and Barrett.”

That night I elected to sleep in the spare room away from temptation, but Zale wouldn’t have it.

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