Page 101 of Breathe Again

“I’m here by myself. I felt nervous. Why are you home so early?”

“Manager’s meeting today and it ended a bit early. Too late to go back to work, so we all headed home. Where’s Olivia?”

“At Willa’s.”

“Right.” He walked into the kitchen with his unhurried rolling gait, loosening his tie, and unbuttoning his shirt.

I loved his ways, his routines. I loved to watch him shave in the morning, see him rolling in from work pulling at his tie and his buttons.

“How did your appointment go?”

“He’s concerned about me; says I’m going to end up in the hospital if I don’t reduce my stress level over the next little while.”

Zale’s eyebrows hit the stratosphere as he dropped his long frame onto a chair. “Why?”

“Just the normal stresses on top of the work I’m doing trying to fix this, the insomnia, the realization that my mother is what she is, Olivia’s issues, you working late, mostly stuff that’s necessary, but he asked what I can do to decrease the stress and I thought maybe I’d take a few days off homeschooling, curtail the visits to my mom for a couple of weeks, and try and do more self-care.”

“Why does he think you’re heading for the hospital? None of this is new.”

Irritated, I retorted, “It may not be new to you, Zee, but it sure as hell is new to me.”

He grabbed my hand. “You’re right. I’m sorry. Also, you’ve been doing lots of therapy, trying to learn what you need to learn to deal with this. It is new.”

“My blood pressure is up, too. I forgot to tell the doctor this, but I’ve noticed a tremor in my hand as well.”

I hadn’t really forgotten but I worried that he might put me in the hospital, and I didn’t want to be apart from Zale and Olivia.

“Show me.” I held out my hand and he grasped it again. “Shit, Mara, you really do need to relax.”

“I guess.” I moved closer to him, rested my hip against his ribs. He wrapped a long arm around my hips, turning me toward him, kissing my breastbone through my shirt.

“Want me to talk to your mom?”

“No, I’ll call her tomorrow.” I ran my fingers through his hair. He put both arms around me, gave me a tight squeeze.

“When are we expecting Olivia?”

“Any minute now,” I murmured, sorry to put an end to what I thought he might be starting.

“Want to give Willa a call? Ask her to delay a half hour?”

My heart thumped in my chest. “I can do that.”

Unfortunately, when I called Willa she responded immediately.

“Hey. I was just about to call you. We just got into the car and we’re on our way.”

I had a rule. If you took Olivia out, I needed to know when you left, where you were going, and what time to expect you back.

“Okay, no problem. You’ll have dinner here with us?”

“Love to. Want me to pick up anything?”

“Nope, I already started it. See you soon.”

Zale was already moving toward the bedroom to change out of his suit, “It was worth a shot, gorgeous.”

I felt suddenly bereft by his absence.

---