Then I take another step, and another.
I’ve killed countless rotters, but I’ve never faced one like this. I’ve never walked away from one. Then again, this is the first time I’ve encountered a situation such as this. His love for her binds him to this nightmare. He’s unable to see she’s no longer there. She’s already long gone.
Turning away from the chilling scene, I pat my leg to get Buddy to come with me. “Come on, Buddy. Sleep can wait. Let’s get back to running.”
We burst through the door and out into the rest of the small cabin. I trip over something and slam my already-bruised palm against the concrete floor. Heat engulfs me and I cough through the smoke before rolling away, and I realize I’d tripped over the box of Firestarter, half of it spilling into the fire. The space fills with smoke and I keep a hand on Buddy’s back until we find our way to the front.
We slip out the door and into the cool night, relieved to find the forest empty of rotters, and once again disappear into the darkness of the night.
6
GRIFFIN
The crackling fire keeps the rotters at bay. Their distant groans drift through the woods, a grim lullaby, but they won’t come near the flames. Which is a shame. I’m tempted to throw dirt on the fire and let the party in. Have a slash fest. Anything for a distraction.
Otherwise, it’s quiet. Almost too quiet. Not even crickets are chirping, which makes everything in my head that much louder. It’s a fucking apocalyptic symphony of epic proportions hammering around in my skull. If only I could turn it off or smash it against something. Like a tree. Or Max’s morning star. He would love to do the honors, I’m sure.
I’m supposed to be sleeping. That’s the whole point of stopping for the night and resting up so we can pick up her trail again at the crack of dawn. However, I can’t sleep. My mind is too busy for that. All I can do is turn the broken rose sculpture over in my hands, running my thumb over its jagged edges in the moonlight streaming in through the canopy. The memories rush back in, and I welcome them, even though all they do is bring confusion and pain. The mistakes, the regrets, and the one question that lingers: why didn’t we give her a chance to explain?
At this rate, I’m never going to get any sleep. I’m pretty sure William and Max aren’t sleeping, either. Likely for the same reason as I. A night full of self-torment for the three of us. I’ve never felt so useless before. Her trail is right here, but we can’t find it in the dark and it’s too dangerous of a risk to blindly keep going.
Seeing Emily drive off into the night and breaking the sculpture in the process that I’d worked so hard on for her cut through my heart more than the secret she’d been keeping. It’s not even about the sculpture. I can always make another.
She’d known about my deep desire to be part of a colony, yet she let me believe she was on her own. Every time I talked about wanting a place to belong, she kept her mouth shut. I believed I could save her by creating a colony of my own. If she’d stuck around, she’d know that the only reason I mentioned starting a colony from scratch was because of her. Clearly, though, she never needed saving. She already had everything she needed. Unfortunately, that didn’t include us.
Before her, I didn’t care about starting my own. I didn’t have it in me to build something solid with so few people. It was pointless with only the three of us. Then I found her, and suddenly I had someone I wanted to protect. To keep safe. Now I’ve got nothing.
“I can hear your mind working from over here,” William says from the other side of the fire, breaking the silence. “It’s deafening.”
“Can’t sleep either?” I glance over and see him lying on his back with his eyes wide open.
“No wonder none of us took first watch,” Max chimes in, lying with his eyes shut and fingers laced over his stomach. “We all know damn well none of our sorry asses were planning to sleep. At this rate, we might as well keep moving. I saw some fresh footprintsearlier and almost followed them without you sorry bastards.”
I bolt upright and glare over at him. “You found her trail, and you said nothing?”
Max shrugs and keeps his eyes shut tight. “Didn’t feel up for it. Felt more fitting to lie on the ground here with my old friend, self-sabotage.”
His voice is quiet, pained. He’s been hurt more than any of us. The original betrayal from his brother cut him so deep, I wasn’t sure he’d ever be able to climb back out of that dark hole again. He’d finally started doing better, especially when we found Emily. Until Nathan came back into the picture and exploded everything all over again. This time, the shrapnel hit all three of us. No matter how deep my cut is, I know Max was stabbed with a double sword.
Part of the reason I want to find Emily is so they can work their shit out. I know we’re missing something, and that’s her side of the story. We didn’t give ourselves a chance to hear her out, and now I won’t be leaving her again until we do.
Her face appears in front of me. I can almost feel her hand tracing the scar on my face, the gentleness of her touch, the sad look in her eyes, and the softness of her lips when she asked me to trust her. She didn’t elaborate, and she didn’t phrase it as a question. She told me to trust her. I need to know why.
William stands, stretching his arms over his head. “Well, I’m going to find a tree, then I guess we’ll get moving.”
“There’s an entire forest full. Hope you can find a bougie one,” Max says.
“A private tree will do fine,” William responds, before ducking behind a nearby oak.
I kick dirt over top of the fire to put it out, and then double check my weapons. I wish I would have grabbed somethingfrom the cars before taking off. We’ve never been this unprepared before. This is the first time we don’t have a First Aid kit on us, and if I’m right about Emily being hurt, she’s going to need it. I hope she grabbed one before running off.
There isn’t anything else for me to do now, other than wait on William, so I look around when something catches my attention. “Hey, up there.” I point to the sky where a thin plume of smoke catches my eye, curling up through the canopy. “Someone’s got a fire going.”
Max’s eyes burst open, squinting at the distant haze above. “Think it’s her?”
“Only one way to find out,” I say, already on my feet.
“Let’s go,” William says when he reappears, his face serious and his gaze locked on the smoke. He reaches down, grabs hold of Max’s shirt, and drags him off the ground until he’s standing.