William’s eye cloud with concern. “Yeah, I’m not a fan of not being able to at least have the town within sight. I thought we’d at least get to see you off through the gates, not let you wander off on some dirt road to who-knows-where. Are you certain this is it?”
“Yes, William, I’m sure.”
“I don’t like it. You shouldn’t go in there alone,” Griffin says.
Frustration builds up in me, and I snap. “Well, that really doesn’t matter. You didn’t even want to be here with me right now. You were plenty content to make me do this on my own, anyway, so you’re in no position to make demands regarding it. I don’t owe you anything.”
“That’s not what I meant.” His voice is quiet, but I catch a hint of hurt.
“Well, that’s how I took it.” My annoyance grows, and I’m ready to put distance between us and their worry that makes it too hard for me to think straight. I wouldn’t even be stepping foot back in this place if it weren’t for Zoey. I open the door.
Before I can step out, Max’s hand settles on my arm. I turn to face him, expecting some easy quip, but his eyes are shadowed, conflicted. “You’ll come back to us? Even if it’s to tell us we’re not welcome and should go away.”
A breath catches in my chest, and I force myself to look him in the eyes. “Yes, Max. I promise you. I’ll come back.” My voice softens and I hope he sees the sincerity. I may still be angry, but I don’t want to add to his pain. We’re in a weird place right now that I don’t know we can get past, but I don’t want to be the bad guy. That spot is reserved for the three of them if they choose to take it.
“Good. Because if you don’t, then we’ll come after you.”Griffin gets out and rounds the car to stand in front of me and my open door.
“And hurt yourself even more? Please don’t.”
Griffin grins. “The sap’s working better than expected. I’m not planning to bleed out anytime soon.”
“That’s not funny, Griffin.”
“No,” he agrees, but then he reaches for me, his hands pulling me to my feet and holding me close. I brace myself for a hug and to try not to hurt him, but his lips find mine instead, the kiss intense and grounding, dissolving my frustration, and flooding me with warmth. My body relaxes to his touch, and then he pulls away, his eyes searching mine. They still hold the pain from our last conversation. “Come back to us, princess. You don’t have to leave with us but come back and let us know you’re alright in there.”
That’s the thing; I’m not going to be alright. If I stay beyond those walls, then I’ll be as miserable as I was before I found joy with them. If I come back and leave with them, then I can’t trust that they won’t send me away again the next time they find out something about me they don’t like. The only one I can count on is myself. I haven’t told Zoey this, but she’ll be better off without me. She’s only a half-outcast because she defends me. The colony will take care of her needs if I’m gone.
The moment lingers between us before I’m spun around, and then William’s there, his hand warm against the back of my neck, another cradling my jaw, lifting my face to his until his lips are flush against mine. His kiss feels almost like goodbye, gentle yet lingers. When he pulls back, he says, “He wasn’t kidding about coming after you. We couldn’t even make it through one night.” There’s a grin in his voice, but eyes are serious, scouring my face as though he’s memorizing every inch.
Max pushes him aside and steps in front of me next, a ghost of a smirk playing on his lips. I expect a joke, but he’suncharacteristically quiet. He brushes his thumb along my throat, the corner of his mouth lifting as he leans in to plant a soft kiss on the corner of my mouth. Somehow, it feels more intimate than a full-on kiss. He whispers, “Go, if you have to, but don’t leave without telling me.”
Griffin glances down at Buddy. “Watch out for her.”
Buddy emits a low whine as though he understands.
With my heart pounding and aching, I turn toward the road, swallowing the lump in my throat that pairs well with the knot in my stomach. I walk forward with a steady stride. When the road turns to dirt, I glance over my shoulder to see all three of them watching after me. They’re the last things I see before I disappear over the small hill and continue heading to the small village nestled at the bottom with a tall wooden wall stretching around it.
When I approach the gate,the guards on duty stiffen, raising their guns with the vigilance I’ve seen a hundred times before. The movement feels mechanical, as expected, but there’s a slight ache in my chest anyway, knowing they would have shot my guys if they were with me. Then, when my hands go up and I take a few cautious steps forward, one guard lowers his weapon, recognition dawning through the shield of his mask.
“Holy shit, you’re back,” he says, his voice tinged with surprise. The masks obscure their faces, part of the colony’s rigid rules, so I can’t see who I’m speaking to. Long sleeves and pants cover the rest of their body, in case they wind up in close contact with a rotter. Shadowed eyes are all I can see staring back at me in disbelief.
“Yeah.” My voice comes out rougher than I meant, but the annoyance still shines through. “Let me in, will ya? I have something for Zoey.”
“You found it.” A second guard signals to the others, and with a few metallic clangs and shifting gears, the gates creak open and I drop my hands and walk through.
Another guard murmurs under his breath when I pass. “I thought she was dead…”
I don’t bother looking at the one who said that, because I don’t care. It’s no secret how everyone else here feels about me. So, I keep walking. Their opinions don’t matter. Not them, not the whispers—only my best friend.
Once I’m through the gate, I sprint toward Zoey’s house. My legs burn with each step, but I’m oblivious to it. When the house comes into view, I pump my legs harder.
I know where to find the hidden key, buried under the clipped flowerpot by the front door. In a swift movement, I’m through the door, my heart pounding as I scan the space, searching for her.
Fear gnaws at me when I don’t see her right away. She might still be sleeping. She could be out doing some work, or teaching kids to read. The guards would have told me if I was too late…right?
“Zoey?” I call out and run from room to room. Panic builds inside of me. I fear the worst until I step into the kitchen.
She’s facing away from me, her shoulders tense, focused on the clutter of empty vials littered across the counter. I freeze for a second, watching when she swipes at her eyes, sniffles, and reaches for the kettle.