Page 23 of Crimson Flames

“You’re here,” she breathes. When she looks more closely, she must see the bruises forming on my face, making her nose wrinkle in confusion.

“We both are,” Boris says, making her rise too quickly from the bed and grab at her abdomen.

“Lisichka,” Boris gently scolds, coming to her other side instantly.

“You’re here? You don’t hate me?”

His gaze snaps to hers, a mixture of confusion and guilt crossing his face before returning his eyes to the floor.

“I would never be able to stay away from you.” His hand reaches for hers. “And I couldneverhate you.”

“Even if it’s my fault she died?”

That has him meeting her eyes and pinching her chin before any of us can blink. “You will never utter those words again,” he growls way too harshly for my liking, but it does seem to get through to her. She nods even as her eyes water.

Gently, he lets go and places a kiss on her forehead.

“I just needed to breathe for a moment, but I am here.”

Nessa relaxes, and Boris pulls the chair up to the side rail so he can be as close as possible without being in the bed. That’s when Nessa finally notices Doc standing off to the side.

“Thanks for saving me,” she breathes. I can practically hear the unspoken words between them.

“I am truly sorry I couldn’t save you both.”

She nods, fiddling with the blanket in her lap. I can tell she’s in pain, so I want to get this conversation over with quickly.

“What do you need to tell us, Doc?”

He glances at the papers in his hands then at Nessa, sorrow once again bleeding through his features. “I wasn’t able to save your uterus. The bullet went straight through, and there wereshards splintered into other areas. I could not find the bleeding site in time. In order to save you, I was left with no choice. I had to remove your uterus.”

She stares at him as if she doesn’t know what he is trying to say, but it clicks for Boris and me right away. We glance at each other before her.

“Ness,” I try to say gently, but she rips her hand from my grip.

“No. What does that mean?” Red eyes bore into Doc’s as he swallows.

“You can no longer have children.” Shock is written all over her face, but she says nothing. “I’m sorry, Nessa. I swear to you that I did everyth-”

Nessa holds up her hand as she shakes her head. “Stop apologizing.” She tries to take a few deep breaths, but they get stuck. “T-this is good. Now we don’t have to worry. Now there is no way I can hurt another one of m-my babies.”

“Lisi-”

“No!” she snaps. “I saidstop.”

Her hands shake as she balls them into fists.

“This is good news.” She rolls her lips together, and after a minute, Doc nods and dismisses himself.

“You don’t have to do this, Sweetheart. It’s okay to feel upset.”

Nessa scoffs. “Why would I be upset? This is what I wanted.”

“No, it is not. This is what you thought you wanted until you had the chance to process.” Boris adds.

She pins him with a venomous glare. “Clearly, I processed wrong.”

He shakes his head. “No, you made a choice and it was taken away from you.”

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