Page 80 of Crimson Flames

The week away was exactly what we needed—the time in the sun, the insane amount of sex, the cocktails on the beach. More sex, fancy dinners, and seeing some historical sites. Did I mention the sex?

I hadn’t realized just how much having kids around all the time would lessen the opportunities until we arrived back at the house. It was late when I started making myself a cup of tea. Cillian scooped me up onto the counter before kissing me senseless, and guess who walked in?

Kai.

The poor teen is probably traumatized. We weren’t doing anything crazy, just kissing, but it still felt wrong. Kai laughed and said he was glad we were back safe before disappearing back to his room, but the realization we were no longer alone really stuck for us.

Not that it stopped us from having sex once we were safely behind our closed bedroom door.

When my eyes open, and I find that neither of my men are by my side, I sit up with a start.

Holy shite, I am sore.

The room is empty, but there’s a note on the side table. From the fancy looping letters, I can tell this is Boris’ doing.

I went to make breakfast, and Cillian went on a walk with Kai. If you wake before I return, meet me in the kitchen.

Smiling, I flip the covers back and go to the closet to get dressed. My cheeks hurt from just how much Boris and Cillian have made me laugh this past week…amongst other things. I still miss Aiden. I think about her nearly every hour of the day, but the sharp pain that used to come with the memory of her is dulled slightly by the dream I had of Enya.

That, accompanied by two things, continue to push me forward: Boris’ promise that we’ll see her again one day, and Kai’s suggestion that her sacrifice meant saving so many others.

Before leaving the closet, I take out the picture from under a small box on my dresser. It’s the one of me holding my baby girl. While most people would focus on the sheer number of tubes and bruising scattered on my body, all I see is our girl.

Boris had it printed for me, so that I can hold it in my hands. He also printed a few others; one with the two of them holding her tiny hands, and another with Cillian kissing her small head.

I never would have thought that a picture could have helped me heal so much, but it does. When I miss her, I can still seeproof that she was real. Even if it wasn’t for the photos, I still see her in the flames tattooed on each of our families’ hands, or the one wrapped around my wrist that Cillian drew for me. My favorite though, the one that makes me feel the most connected to her is at night when I look out at her memorial.

With a deep cleansing breath, I place them back in their spot and head to the kitchen. The smell of pancakes greets me outside the door, and I internally laugh as I hear Boris telling some of the younger kids to stay back from the stove.

When I get inside, Ami and Ani are standing by the counter staring at the syrup like they have a plan.

“Oh no you don’t,” Adrian says, scooping the syrup off the counter as their faces fall.

“We will help you,” Akio says, pulling back two chairs and setting their plates in front of them.

“No help,” Ami pouts.

“I do,” Ani says, batting her lashes at Adrian.

Boris watches them with a smile, and I decide this needs an Aunt Ness intervention.

“Can Auntie Ness help?” I ask, making the girls turn in their chairs in surprise. With smiles on their faces, they hop down and run over to me.

“Ness, Ness,” they shout as I scoop them into a hug. They’re still so small, but I love that I can hold them together, even if it’s just for a second.Sometimes a second is all we have.

“Do not overload them with sugar; they have enough energy as it is,” Akio chides with a smile on his face.

I may or may not end up putting a little extra on their plates, but that’s basically my job. When Akio and Adrian officially adopted them, Laney, Evie, and I said we wanted to be their aunts.

Laney has a spa day with them almost weekly, and Evie’s teaching them to play soccer. While the girls often travel backand forth from Russia to the house here in Norway with Akio and Adrian, it makes me wish we could all be together in one spot.

“What are you guys doing here?” I ask once the twins begin to dig into their pancakes.

“Evie said she missed the girls, and Laney wasn’t going to be able to fly out to spend a day with them this week, so we decided to come back here,” Akio says.

“That, and these two are exhausting, It helps to have the other kids around to entertain them and get their energy out,” Adrian adds.

“I don’t doubt it,” I say. watching the girls before making my way over to Boris, who’s still cooking for everyone. Some of the kids come in and sit at the table, others bring their food to their room.

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