Page 96 of Crimson Tears

I may still be sore, but I need to get back to work. I need to get moving, and we need to find those kids.

But for tonight, I’ll enjoy the life I’ve been given. It might all blow up in my face soon anyway, but for now, it’s perfect.

Chapter 28

Nessa wakes up breathing heavily, sweat covering her body. Her arms reach out for the both of us, and instantly we are there. It destroys me on the inside to know that I am the reason for some of this pain. Her fear of me walking away has only caused more stress in this situation.

I want to prove to her that I meant what I said, I am not going anywhere. But I do not know how else I can do that, other than making sure to be here every time she wakes up.

Her head drops to my chest, and Cillian wraps himself around her. I can feel her shaking slightly, so I take her hand and hold it close.

“I think I need to talk to Dr. K sooner than I expected.”

Her voice is soft, and I feel Cillian pull her closer.

“Who is Dr. K?” he asks.

“She is our therapist,” I tell him. “Alexi hired her a few years ago and now she sees anyone in the organization when they need it. I believe she works very closely with Evie and as of late, Arrow as well.”

Cillian huffs a laugh. “I’ve never heard of a mafia with a shrink. Kinda hilarious if you ask me.”

Nessa elbows him in the ribs.

“Hey,” he whines, rubbing at his side.

“Don’t be a baby.”

“I was just surprised, that’s all.”

He tries to get closer to her, but she makes him work for it.

“Just because we are mafia doesn’t mean we have to suffer,” I say firmly. “We can be mentally healthy while still maintaining our position at the top of the food chain.”

I believe that too. I was surprised when Alexi eventually confided in me about hiring a therapist. I already knew, because I watched where his money went, in case I was raising a brat who thought he could have whatever he wanted. Rather,he spent his earnings on intelligent things, and I always respected that he sought therapy on his own.

When Alexi told me he hired her, he appeared embarrassed that he needed help, and it hurt me to see my son ashamed for taking care of his mental health. I have done my best to de-stigmatize that in this household and organization as much as possible ever since.

When Nessa finally relaxes between us, she turns to look at Cillian out of the corner of her eye.

“Dr. K is an amazing woman, and you’ll not talk about her like that. She’s a professional, and I’ve seen the lengths she has gone through to help Evie. You should be thankful she worked with Alexi too, or you might not be alive after you touched his wife.”

He groans. “It was just a hug.”

Nessa scoffs. “It was you being a shameless flirt and taking things too far.”

He nestles into her neck, and his leg brushes against mine when he wraps it around her. I thought that him touching me would bother me, but oddly it does not. Especially when I feel Nessa relax more next to me.

“Fine. You’re right, Love.”

“I know.”

I watch him bite her neck, a soft smile spreading across my face when she laughs lightly.

Maybe this will not be such a difficult transition after all. There was no question when we came home if Cillian would be in our bed with us. Somehow, it is almost as if we expected this. The bed and shower fit us all perfectly. In the few days we have been home, the space has never felt cramped or like it is all too much.

Cillian may have been a surprise, but deep down it is as if we always knew something was missing.

“I will call Alexi in the morning to figure out her schedule and have a time arranged for you. He is her liaison in the organization for the time being.”

---