Page 72 of Crimson Tears

He clears his throat, looking out the window instead of at me. “I will speak with his parents next month if all goes well. You will marry him and he will be sworn in. The two of you will begin training to take over.”

I ball my hands into fists to keep them from shaking. As much as I wanted Cillian, I never wanted this life for him. I never really wanted it for myself, but I knew I didn’t have a choice.

He did.

Clenching my jaw, I turn back to my room without a word. After tearing off my clothes, I slip into the midnight blue dress Cillian chose for me earlier when we were on a video chat. He lives two houses down, but I needed help with my outfit for tonight.

I throw it on, but the joy I was feeling before my father had to throw that bomb at me feels miles away.

I have to think of this as a gift though. I know my father laid out his expectations with Cillian and that he already agreed.Now, I have to live with that. To know I was the one to put him in harm’s way. The once innocent boy who saved my sister out of the kindness of his heart will now be my partner in leading the Irish Reapers.

By the time I walk out the front door to find Cillian with a bouquet of pink fuchsias, I’ve managed to put on my ‘faking it’ face.

“What is it, A stór?”

Of course he would notice right away.

I hang my head, ashamed of what my family has brought upon us. I hear his steps, then feel his fingers pinch my chin gently. My lip wobbles and he bends down, pressing a soft kiss to it that has the tears in my eyes threatening to break loose.

“I chose you, Ness. I will always choose you. Trust that I have a plan.”

I nod, not necessarily trusting him in that plan yet, but just knowing he has one and that he had thought all of this through brings me some relief.

“That’s my girl. Now take these, we’re going to be late.” He hands me the beautiful flowers and takes my hand, pulling me to his car.

It’s a quick drive to the small theater in town, and Cillian finds a way to bring that happiness back. Some days it’s like he brings a pure ray of sunshine to my doom and gloom life.

I need him in a selfish way, but I love him in a selfless one. I would let him walk away if that’s what he wanted. It would break a part of me I know would never recover, but I would let him because the life of a mobster is not one I would wish on anyone.

But he chose this, he chose me.

We arrive at the large white building and run to the doors with our tickets in hand, knowing we are right on time as we take our seats the moment the lights dim.

The large red curtain opens, and a beautiful ballerina walks out on stage, taking my breath away. My sister and I look nothing alike except in our eyes. We each have this rare hazel-yellow color that almost seems golden at the center.

I watch in awe as she twirls onstage. She is the one thing I did right in this world. I kept her far away from everything my father does and shielded her from him. Mother helped, enrolling her in ballet so she always had a place to escape to when tensions arose in the house with mob business.

I was very clear with my mother about how I was already in line to inherit the ruling title, but I wanted Enya as far from it all as possible. She agreed to help me, and based on the look on her face as she sits next to us, I think they both found something to love.

It was going to get them both out of this mess and away from everything to do with the Reapers.

Cillian looks like a proud brother as he claps for her. He has always been her biggest defender and strongest ally, especially when I wasn’t around. My father would drag me off to do things I never wanted to talk about with anyone, except Cillian. He was the one person I could always open up to.

When I would leave, he would watch over Enya. And when I would return, he would sneak into my room and hold me all night while I cried or just sat in silence processing. He never judged me for any of it, and never spoke about it again unless I brought it up.

My heart feels full when we stand to applaud together, but nowhere near as full as it does when Cillian hands Enya the flowers he bought for her. She jumps in his arms and he catches her, spinning her around, her laughter lightening my heart.

“Did you ask her yet?” Enya questions, eyes darting between the both of us.

Cillian takes my hand with a huge smile on his face. “Sure did.”

Enya squeals, running to me for a hug and squeezing me so tight I think I might faint. But I couldn’t care less. I squeeze her back with everything I have. “I am so happy for you, Ness.”

“You were beautiful up there, sis.”

She lets me go as she beams with pride. “Thank you.”

Mother comes running around the corner, telling Enya someone of importance wants to speak with her.

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