Page 34 of Crimson Tears

“Well, I’ll feed her and get something into her system if you want to shower,” I offer. “I don’t think she will be able to stand on her own. Plus, the heat might make her pass out with how drunk she is.”

Boris looks between the two of us, and I hope he sees I’m trying to help. It has been difficult not to play tug-of-war with her, but I have done my best to not try and make him jealous or to outright take time away from the two of them.

I may or may not have bought a book on how to make polyamory work. I also may or may not have read it in a day.

But it insisted that in order for there to be ‘harmony’ within any relationship, creating jealousy or competition would only impede that goal.

So I have tried to act my best.

I mean, I might have continued to call him old man just to goad him a bit, but that’s part of who I am. He’s gotta learn to deal with it.

“Alright,” he says after a beat. “I’ll be back shortly.”

He kisses Nessa on the temple, then turns to head towards the bathroom to shower. Once he’s around the corner, I bend and lift Nessa into my arms.

“Wow, such a gentleman,” she says as I carry her to the kitchen.

“Only with you,” I whisper. “Let’s keep it our little secret though. Can’t let the world think I’ve gone soft or anything.”

I swipe some of the bread from the cabinet and cut a few slices for her. She watches me carefully, and I can’t tell if it’s because she needs something to focus on or if she is remembering all of the nights we would sneak into her mother’s cupboards and eat the bread.

“I missed you.” Her words are so quiet I barely hear them.

But my hand freezes midway between the cutting board and the plate. I look up at her, emotions swirling in my mind.

Pain, loss, grief, but also the sort of happiness I’m sure only the authors of fairy tales can imagine.

“I missed you too, Sweetheart.”

After adding a generous amount of bread to the plate, I pass it to her. She eagerly eats every single slice before pleading eyes beg me for more. I oblige, holding in a chuckle. This woman can eat bread like no one I have ever known.

Her eyes start to droop as she finishes. I contemplate taking her to her room, but I have less than zero percent interest in accidentally seeing Boris naked.

Instead, I sweep her into my arms again and head for the living room. Her nose presses into my neck and she inhales.

“Still smells like you.”

“I’m still me, Sweetheart. Just a little more unhinged and a lot more fun.”

She snorts, her arms wrapping around my neck as I sit us on the couch. I know I should sit her next to me and be the gentleman she claimed I was, but I don’t have it in me to let her go.

She sighs, her body subconsciously beginning to trust me again as she leans in. Her warmth feels like something I didn’t know was missing.

She feels like home.

My fingers trace the length of her back as she falls asleep in my arms. I have no idea how I am going to keep her in my life, but tonight only solidifies for me that I have to try.

Boris comes in only a few minutes after she falls asleep. He doesn't say anything though, just takes her from my arms with a nod and carries her to bed.

One day soon, I vow to be joining them instead of heading to my room to sleep alone.

Chapter 11

Every morning for the past week, I make breakfast while Cillian and Nessa talk about the past, telling stories and reliving good memories while sitting at the island. She has been so happy lately; the fog of the lingering mission hasn’t seemed to wear on her as much as before. Which is good because up until yesterday, we had no new information.

Nessa struggled with an intense hangover in bed the day after her girl's night with Evie. But she was back to herself last night when Evie called. Nessa said they would be coming over tomorrow to talk about the next step.

Apparently, one of the guys she placed at the port made a connection, and now we have a possible drop or stopping point.

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