Page 25 of Crimson Tears

I could see my girl struggling with each answer because every time we found out more information, it made it seem like saving these kids was that much further out of reach.

They also extracted from the guard that the organization was trying to establish training camps. The plan is essentially to make the kids young assassins for hire once they are fully trained. They planned to sell them to the highest bidder in order to do their dirty work.

The whole thing got to Evie the most, which isn’t surprising since that’s how she grew up, where she was the one to eventually end the guard’s life.

We headed home after Evie asked if Cillian could stay with us for a while longer, just until we found the kids. I hesitantly agreed, although I am reluctant to let another man into our home, especially one who has a history with my woman. Even if I can tell that Nessa needs him in a way. He is reckless and dangerous, and although he tries to hide it under his outrageously arrogant personality, he cares for her still.

It did not go unnoticed that Nessa internally struggled with his proximity today, and even to look at him. I cannot shake the thought that something is beginning to change in her mind, and she is trying to drive a wedge between the two of them for my sake.

As much as I do not like the kid, I want my girl to be happy. So if staying in touch with him will bring her joy, then I want to offer that.

But I also want her to look out for herself. It became very clear today that Cillian struggles with patience and being part of a team.

That kind of behavior in his past life was necessary, but now it might get someone killed, and I am not willing to let Nessa get hurt because of his hubris. So, as much as I do not want to have this conversation with her in fear of her response, I decide to man up and do it anyway because she deserves the best.

When we make it back to the house, Nessa heads straight for the shower. When things don’t go well, she will use her sponge to scrub her body raw, as if she needs to shed a layer of skin in order to move forward. Sometimes, I can help her through her thoughts, but other times, like today, I am content to just sit with her because I do not know what else to say.

Often, that means nothing needs to be said, and we just need time to sit back, heal, and process. Other times, it might be a call for help. But I think today, what we all need is to reflect.

I debate on reaching out to Dr. K, Alexi and Evie’s therapist, who is now a hired hand for the mafia. At first, I thought it was strange to have a therapist on call, but now I see the usefulness. She has helped us all so much, and I wonder if we might need her soon to help us work on some of this defeat in the mission. It is clear there is more going on in Cillian and Nessa’s heads when it comes to these kids.

Cillian walks in behind me, heading for his room looking just as done with the day as I feel. When he’s out of sight, I reach out and pick Nessa up, cradling her in my arms as I walk us to the shower.

Silently, we take our time helping each other out of our clothes. I program the panel so that there’s a light steam toaccompany the waterfall shower head. I also program the oil diffuser in the walls to blend in the scent of lavender and eucalyptus to help us fully relax and hopefully rest tonight.

Stepping in, my muscles begin to release some of their tension and I pull Nessa close, rubbing her shoulders and skating kisses down her neck as she breathes in the aromatherapy vapors. The tension in her body fades the more the steam bellows around us.

“You okay?” she asks me, turning in my hold to press her cheek to my chest. I hold her close, our naked bodies flush with one another. I will never tire of feeling her skin on mine.

“I am now. How are you?”

I feel her inhale against me before letting it out slowly. “I think I’m just confused right now.”

“Want to talk it through?” I offer, trying not to let my mind latch onto the idea that she is confused about our relationship.

“I don’t understand how they got word to move the children before we could get there.”

I let out a breath. “That is strange. Do you think you missed something in your interrogation?”

Even I know the man gave them every bit of information he had. They were thorough, but I want her to feel free to express her doubts.

“Maybe.” She leans her forehead on my chest and shakes her head. “No.”

That’s my girl.

“I think we all could use some rest.”

She nods, humming lightly. “That sounds like the best plan I’ve heard all day.”

“Are you worried about working with Cillian?” I need to know if she realizes just how reckless he was today. I have no intention of gossiping though. I think we all just need to be aware in case he decides to go off on his own again.

Nessa takes a step back and grabs her loofah, adding soap to it before beginning her ritual of scrubbing the day away.

“Worried, no.” I begin to clean up, scrubbing my hair as I watch her think. “I think the heat got to him, it was getting to me too, but he’s more impulsive. I think next time we need to have better communication about how we are doing during the scouting.”

“That is a good idea,” I say, ducking under the water to rinse off. “I do not want to risk your safety because of his reckless behavior though.”

She is quiet for a minute while I turn off the shower and hand her a towel, wrapping my own around me in the process.

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