Page 153 of Crimson Tears

“Thanks, I really like it here.”

Norway kind of snuck up on me, but I understand why it’s said to be one of the happiest countries. The landscape is beautiful, even if it is cold most of the time.

I hand her a cup of coffee and sit beside her in the large window bed space.

“So, what’s up?” Evie asks, eyeing me over her cup. Neither of us are big talkers, and it’s rare that we get to hang out without there being something to plan for.

“Can’t a girl just want to hang out with her friend?”

I’m chickening out even though I am anxious to word-vomit all of my feelings. I know I could call Dr. K about this, but there’s something about my best friend that just feels right.

Evie shakes her head. “I know you, Ness. Spit it out. Are these boys being dumb again?” The way she jumps to my defense before knowing anything is precious. Evie is a fighter through and through.

I sigh, knowing there’s no going back now.

“I think we need to call in Laney. She’ll kill me if I talk about this with you and don’t include her. Especially after everything that has happened.”

I pull out my phone as Evie laughs, agreeing that our friend would probably talk us to death with a famous lecture of hers. When I hit the dial button, an awkward silence fills the space until our friend answers.

“Girl,” Laney shrieks, “are you even alive? Why haven’t I heard from you in like a week? I demand a bubble bath chat asap! Damn, Ness why do you look like you’re equal parts glowing and exhausted?” Laney’s cheery voice brings a grin to my face.

“I kind of need to talk to both of you,” I say solemnly.

Their gazes lock on me and I take a deep breath.

“I’m… pregnant.”

Silence.

Like, bone chilling silence.

Then, a screech reaches my ears, making me startle so hard I almost drop the phone.

“Shut up! You crazy fudge-doodle, I thought you were dying! This is amazing news. When are you due? I call getting to plan the baby shower!”

My lips lift, but they can both sense my hesitation.

“Ness?” Evie asks, resting a hand on my shoulder.

“It was an accident and… I don’t know if I want to keep it.”

They don’t say anything. We just sit there for a few minutes in the deafening quiet. I beg for a sign of what to do now, but nothing seems to come.

“I think I understand,” Evie says finally, and Laney nods on the screen.

“We both do.”

Tears fill my eyes, and I shake my head, willing them to go away. I don’t want to cry.

“Girl, if I were there I would give you the biggest hug ever.” Laney looks like she might actually try to jump through the screen as Evie folds her legs underneath her.

“What do the guys think? Do they know?”

“They want to keep it.” I heave a sarcastic laugh. “Can you imagine? Alexi will have a half-sibling, which is beyond weird for me to think about,” I say, cringing slightly at the idea.

“They showed me the nursery they designed and even have a list of names. It’s all so overwhelming, and I just don’t know what to do. I never wanted to be a mother, and the idea that I already am terrifies me.”

I keep going, pouring all of my thoughts and emotions out so that maybe they can help me sort through them. It feels good to get it all off my chest. Some of these things I just can’t say to the guys, but they need to be purged from my brain.

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