Page 136 of Crimson Tears

“Is this how you see me?” I ask, not looking down because he knows I’m referencing the drawings.

“Yes,” he nips my ear. “I see you exactly like this in my dreams nearly every night.”

I swallow, the blade nicking my skin a little. Instead of sending me into a bad place though, it gets me even more worked up.

“Do you like how I see you?”

I don’t answer the question, but it’s obvious from the way my face flushes with heat. I’m slightly afraid of how much I like these images.

“Drop the feckin’ knife, Killer.” My voice is breathless, giving away exactly how I feel.

“Drop the attitude, Sweetheart, or I might be tempted to see all of the ways I can make you cry.”

My breath hitches in my throat, and as he drops the blade I turn to face him.

“Do it.”

Cillian’s eyes widen, but his pupils have overtaken his irises, turning them nearly black. He bites his lip as a mischievous grin spreads across his face. He looks like a demon set on devouring me whole.

“You want to play on the dark side with me?”

I swallow hard, feeling all of the muscles in my neck tighten. Laney and Evie talk about this stuff all of the time, but I never really even considered trying anything kinky. But right now, I want it.

I guess all it takes is the right person.

“Show me your shadows, Killer. I want to get lost with you.”

His nostrils flare, and before I can register what is happening, he picks me up and tosses me on the chair at the side of his desk. It only takes me a moment to comprehend that it’s not just any chair, it’s one of those sex sofas.

It’s like a long leather chair that dips down in the middle. One side rises a bit higher than the other and both have rounded edges. I cannot imagine all of the positions you can get into with it, but I look forward to trying them all.

Cillian turns around and strides to the closet, pulling out a bag. “You have no idea how long I have waited for this moment,” he says, stalking back towards me. “Now, take off your clothes.”

I do as he says, stripping quickly. Once I am done, I stand to the side of the chair, unsure of how to use these.

“Straddle the lower part, I want your legs spread wide for me.”

I roll my lips in hesitance. I want to do this, but a small part of me is nervous.

“Sweetheart,” Cillian walks up to me, pinching my chin so I am forced to look at him. “If anything becomes too much, just say ‘red’ and it will all end. Okay?”

I don’t answer him right away because it still feels weird.

“What is it?”

I take a deep breath. “What if I don’t like it and I say ‘red’ when you’re enjoying it?”

His brow furrows. “Ness, I can assure you that I will find no pleasure if you are not enjoying it too. We are a team, right?”

He takes my hand, and I squeeze it, my reservations dying on my tongue because he’s right. In normal situations, I would say if I didn’t like something, or ask for us to change positions, so why should this be any different just because we’re testing boundaries?

“Together.”

He smiles at me before kissing my forehead. “Together.”

“Why do you like to see me cry?” I ask because the question has been nagging at me.

This time, his face turns down. “I don’t know,” he says quietly.

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