Page 83 of Crimson Tears

“Explain,” I bark out, trying not to scream in utter frustration.

“Look, believe it or not, I felt a lot like you do in the beginning.”

“I AM NOT BISEXUAL!” I yell because Arrow is, and that is not something I wish to explore.

No disrespect to him, it is just not me and I do not want to be pressured to doubt myself.

He chuckles. “You have made that clear. I was referring to the confusion of it all.”

“Oh.” I sit down in front of the table and try to focus on his words instead of my warring confusion. I need the thoughts in my head to settle before Nessa wakes. I have no intention of leaving her again, but I cannot function like this.

“First, your relationship is what you guys make it. My dynamic with Havoc and Laney would have worked out if Havoc and I weren’t into each other too. And that was a battle on its own. With Laney, I guess it clicked for me when I realized Havoc’s love for her added more to her life than I was capable of providing alone. That was when I recognized it wasn’t just about me. It was about the woman I loved and giving her everything she deserves.”

I look down at my feet as I imagine not being bothered by Cillian’s presence in our lives. Instead of fighting him or being worried he will take her away, what if I collaborate with him to find ways to make our girl even happier than I could do alone?

“That makes sense.”

“Uncle, if you don’t want to be with Cillian, you don’t have to. There are no set rules. Make your family what you want it to be. It may be hard to see it with Alexi because he grew up with Damien and Lev. There was trust there from the start. But you have to trust that you and Cillian will make this work andcontinue to work on it together. Jealousy is a choice, but you can reassure insecurities to help prevent it.”

We talk for a while, and Arrow helps me get my mind in order. I needed a distraction to prevent myself from spiraling while we wait, and it seems that Alexi knew just when to push. I hang up with Arrow when I get a message that Nessa is out and being set up in a room with an extra-large bed and a view.

Now that the confusion has begun to settle, I finally feel like I can go to her. I need to convince her that the promise I am about to make is real.

Chapter 25

Everything hurts. I meanliterally everything.

I wiggle my toes, trying to find a sense of where I am. Am I in Cillian’s arms on the little cot in his cell? I no longer feel the cool air of the room around me, but there is still a bone-deep chill that is present.

When soft sheets touch my skin, I crack one eye open. Fluorescent lights blind me before I can blink enough to clear away the haze. White walls, white sheets, a monitor with a very faint but distinctive beep.

The pain is all consuming as I tilt my head, hoping to find Cillian or Boris here with me. But…there’s no one, and I can’t hear anything aside from that faint beep.

This isn’t right. If someone saved us, they would be here. Is this another trick? Did my father kill them once he realized I never would? Am I locked in here?

Glancing to the closed door along the wall without windows, my chest starts to heave in panic and ragged breaths.

They’re dead. I held on for as long as I could and they still died.

I try to keep the sob in, but my ribs burn from the constriction. The pain somehow feels even deeper, digging into me as if it were trying to become a permanent fixture. And I don’t know if my heart will survive it.

No, don’t do this, Nessa. You have to get out of here. You can’t let him take you without a fight. If they’re gone, it won’t be in vain.

Gathering all of the strength I can muster, I reach out and turn off the monitor, knowing that if I remove anything before clearing the screen, it will only set off alarms. Tearing open the gown, I find the stickers on my chest and remove them one by one. The adhesive stings, but the thought that I have lost the two men I love hurts worse.

I’m more careful with the IV, not wanting blood to spurt out everywhere. Peeling the tape from around my arm, I slowly remove the tip while adding pressure at the puncture site. Then, I tear off part of the gown and wrap it to keep from making a mess. The fluid in the IV drips on the ground, but I don’t plan on staying long enough for that to matter.

Standing on shaking legs, I maneuver myself to the door. Much to my relief, I don’t notice any cameras in the room with me and still no sounds can be heard from the halls.

As carefully as I can, I twist the handle, shocked to find it isn’t locked.Bet these feckers didn’t think I would just get back up from those injuries. They’re too dumb to know redheads need more medication to keep them down than others.

Honestly though, I probably shouldn't be standing. I’ve to be moving on adrenaline alone at this point.

Cracking open the door ever so slightly, I pale as a person in green scrubs turns and looks directly at me.

“You shouldn’t be awake.” Her eyes are wide, and I feel bad for her because she probably has no idea just how much of a fight I plan to put up right now.

She rushes towards me, but I’m ready. The second she presses on the door, I pull it back and wrap an arm around her neck. She jerks back, her arm pressing into my surly broken ribs, causing me to cry out in pain.

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