Page 30 of Crimson Tears

I was not snooping, but I called to make sure he had what he needed when Alexi informed me just how much he has to his name. I have no idea why the kid keeps all of it just set aside, only spending what he needs to get by.

Although I have only ever known a lavish lifestyle, maybe we all learn to live in the way we were brought up. I do not flaunt my money or my status. It is only really important when in the boardroom and settling deals anyway. Outside of that, it is nothing to lord over others. At least, not to me.

But I do like nice things. I appreciate artists, the time spent honing their craft, and the painstaking hours that go into a singular piece.

I try to buy from artists whose pieces I enjoy, but also ones who I can help support in some way. It brings me a sense of pride that I can do some good in the world using the money I made off illegal deals. Because, although I believe my heart is pure, I amnota good man.

The drug trade is not the only thing I have ever dealt in. When inheriting the Bratva and businesses from my father, I dealt in all sorts of illegal trade. Men, women, guns, ammunition, stolengems, priceless art. You name it, I have likely dealt with it. Justneverchildren.

As I grew, things changed. But none so much as it has in the past few years. Evie keeps us all fairly above board. We still deal heavily in drugs and weapons trade, but people are something we refuse to partake in any longer.

I grab a few last minute things from the fridge when I hear the doorbell ring.

“I got it,” Cillian says.

He has been very helpful the past few days, and I can honestly say that I do not mind having him around. The way Nessa is with him, almost like she is floating on a cloud, brings me joy to see.

At first I was threatened by it, but she made it very clear who she chose. Although, I am left to wonder if she is slowly beginning to change her mind.

I see the lingering looks and touches. It is like he holds a piece of her that is reserved for him alone. She laughs with Cillian in a way she has never laughed with me. He brings out this almost childlike version of her, one I have never had the pleasure of seeing before.

And although I love to see her happy, I sometimes wonder if she could be happier with me out of the picture.

Even if I wanted to, I cannot bring myself to be mad about what is so clear in front of me, no matter how much it may hurt. I promised her I would do whatever she needed to be happy, so seeing her like this is what has the doubt creeping into my mind about just how well the two of us fit together.

???

We are all at the poker table, eyeing each other carefully. So far, Lev has surprised most of us by bluffing his way through three rounds and forcing everyone to fold. Cillian is much better at reading people than I could have imagined. He has Alexi and all of his mannerisms pegged.

At one point, Alexi nearly had an aneurysm and made Cillian go change into a short sleeved shirt because he was sure he was hiding cards in his sweatshirt. Cillian gladly changed, and then proceeded to win the next two hands.

Either the kid is insanely lucky, or he is a master at sleight of hand.

I am about to deal the last hand when Cillian’s phone lights up, Nessa’s face popping up on the screen. Immediately, I check my phone to see if I missed a call and wonder why she would be calling him.

My phone is blank though.

Cillian picks up his phone with a Cheshire grin, and I see Nessa look as if she stumbles over something on the screen right as he accepts the call.

“Shite, why did we leave our clothes on the floor?” Nessa asks, not even looking at the camera.

“I think we were racing,” Evie’s voice comes from the background, but it is very clear the two of them are drunk.

“Hello, Sweetheart.”

“Oh, shite.” Nessa looks at the phone. “Wait, why did I call him?”

Evie bursts into a fit of laughter behind her while I am left to wonder if she is calling him with no clothes on. When I lean to the side, I can see she borrowed one of Evie’s bikinis. It is not tied very tight though, and her breasts are close to spilling out of the top.

“The tattoo,” Evie reminds her.

“Oh yeah. Killer, Evie said you told her your tattoo was for someone you loved and lost. I need to know, is it for me?”

Cillian pales ever so slightly, but smirks nonetheless to put on a show for her.

“Quite presumptuous, Love. Don’t ya think? You might be a tad drunk.”

Nessa snorts. “Much more than a tad. Tell me.”

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