Page 27 of Crimson Tears

I hear the creak of the patio door before his scent washes over me a moment later. Cillian has always smelled like freedom to me. His family always told him to play outdoors, and even after he was kidnapped and brought back to them, they made him venture back out again.

“Good morning, Sweetheart.”

His rough voice greets me as he takes a seat on the couch beside me. He sprawls out on it, his legs wide as he drops his head back.

“Good morning.”

That’s the best thing about both of the men in my life. None of us feels the need to fill the silence. Even though a thousand questions hang in the air between us, a lot of time passes before he says anything.

Men in my life? Did I really just think that?

“Tell me one thing that changed you in the last three years?”

He doesn’t lift his head, just gives me time to think. I could say something as simple as I no longer drink black tea because itreminds me too much of my mother. Or something as deep as I colored my hair to remind me of the promise I made to my sister.

I go with something in the middle.

“Evie taught me how to fight and helped me figure out what that means to me.”

Silence stretches before he finally speaks, his tone low. “What does it mean to you?”

I take a deep breath and sip on my coffee before I answer. “I think my father trained me so well in shooting because that way I was only something to fear from afar. That way, if he kept me close, he never had to watch his back.”

Cillian chuckles, but not in a funny way. It’s sinister, like he also drew a similar conclusion.

“Fighting and learning to fight meant that I became someone for him to fear at all times from every distance, and I like that.”

He sits up then, crossing his feet at the ankles as they stretch in front of him.

“After I thought you died, I went on a killing spree.”

My eyes go wide at that. “I knew Adrik was a piece of shite and I was done working for him. I was careful. He never had any idea his men were dying under his nose. But every man that helped take down that tower with you inside met their end within a week of it going down.”

My lips part in shock.

“I was messed up before that, but I think that was the moment my mind actually broke.” Cillian looks unhinged at the admission, his eyes so wide they appear to bug out of his head. That’s a big thing to confess.

I can’t help what I do next. I might be pissed at him and might need to draw a line between us. But I remember the scared little boy my father saved from the mobsters who tried to take over part of his territory.

My feet carry me to him of their own accord. I sit next to him, curling into his side and wrapping him in a hug. Cillian’s arms surround me. It’s then I realize that while we have both changed, some things will always be the same. I will always comfort him when he’s hurting, and he will always hold me when I need to be held.

I breathe him in while he seems to do the same. I swear I’m transported in time, back to the night he told me he loved me.

The sky is dark, but his arms embracing me are sure and comforting. The stars shine brighter than I think they ever have as Cillian rubs a hand down my side.

Goosebumps travel through my body everywhere his fingers make contact. He is everywhere all at once. My comfort. My home.

College for us was like a dream come true, but graduating felt like a life sentence. My father agreed to let me marry Cillian, but his parents are not happy, and we think they are planning to make a fuss.

Dread tries to stir in my stomach, but Cillian turns us until he is covering half of my body, pushing me back into the grass on the hillside.

“No matter what happens, it’s you and me.” His promise is so genuine, the look in his eyes so sincere.

My hand cups his face as I nod in agreement. “You and me.”

“I love you, Nessa. As long as the stars are in the sky, my love for you will shine bright.”

He kept his promise in every way. Even when my father retaliated against his parents. Even when we knew the only option was for him to run away. And even after I thought one of my father's men killed him in the process. His love was something bright I held onto in my heart.

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