I wish I had more experience with men, but Xander is the only man I’ve slept with, and I definitely don’t want him to be my last. I don’t have much to compare it to, but he never really cared if I got off. He just expected me to jump on top of him, and once he came, I was forgotten. I never even enjoyed it.
But being around Fionn, I’ve felt more in every inch of my body than I ever felt with Xander.
I want to know what good sex can actually be like. Emily swears it’s way better with a man who puts his woman first. Who enjoys getting her off multiple times before he comes himself. Xander never did that.
I’d like to believe there’s someone out there for me. Someone who’ll respect me and love me enough to be loyal. Or, you know, get me off? That’s not too much to ask.
I let out a sigh.
“What are you thinking about?” His husky tone slices through my thoughts.
Wondering how it’d feel to fuck you.
My face heats up. I never speak that way out loud.
“Nothing,” I finally answer, while he orders me a refill.
I hadn’t realized I’d sucked the holy hell out of this drink. It didn’t stand a chance against my nerves.
“Just thinking about things I have to do when I get back home.”
Like deal withher…
Makes my chest cinch every time I think about returning. I often picture myself running away and starting over. But I’d miss Emily too much. Wish I could afford my own place, but I can’t.
“Where are you from?”
Damn it. I can’t tell him that.
But the city is so big, there’s no way he’d find me with just a generic first name like Emily. “Boston.”
“Wow.” His brows hike. “No way.” He leans back into the leather. “I’m from Massachusetts too.”
Of course he is…
“Really?” I force a smile, hoping we aren’t close. “Where?”
“West Sherwood.” He grins. “About a hundred miles from you.”
I feel a bit relieved. That’s nowhere close to Boston.
“What do you do back home?” His discerning eyes take me in, like he’s trying to solve a puzzle.
“Uh, I work at a café.” I play with my straw. “It’s not much, but?—”
“Don’t do that.” His forehead creases as he drops his elbows on the table and leans in, staring at me with disapproval. “Don’t diminish what you do. You’re still young. Your entire life is ahead of you.”
My laugh is small as I fight not to tell him how wrong he is. There’s nothing waiting for me in the future.
“Yes, I’m only nineteen, but?—”
“Shit, I didn’t realize you’re that young.” He presses two fingers into his temple, face twisting up with obvious tension.
“Sorry?” I grimace.
Knew he wouldn’t be interested in girls my age.
He blows a breath. “Don’t be.”