Page 42 of The Devil's Pawn

My body is all I’ll let him have.

CHAPTERELEVEN

DANTE

I’m trapped.

Raquel has captured something inside me. Something I never meant to give her. I’m starting to like her a little too much. The need to fuck her has become all I can think about, but that’s not all. I’m starting to care about her, and I can’t do that.

It all dawned on me earlier today while I was at work, when I couldn’t fucking wait to see her. Then at the pool, when she fell into the water, this crazy feeling of intense worry latched on to me with a fury. And when we kissed, I never wanted it to stop.

Why is it this easy with her when she’s the last woman on earth I should want?

Taking her was never just about revenge. During the time when I followed her, I witnessed how miserable she was when no one was looking. I felt it inside my bones, the hurt she was carrying all alone. I wanted more than anything to help her. But I didn’t know I’d grow to care for her this way. It scares me more than anything ever has.

I can’t let myself fall in love with her. I can’t give her that part of me. If I do, it’ll be a betrayal to my family. A betrayal to everything we’ve vowed for the last fifteen years.

But how do I expect to stop my growing feelings while living with her, especially when I don’t even stay away? How the hell am I supposed to keep myself from feeling something I never thought I wanted, especially with a Bianchi, the family who hated us growing up?

When Dom and Chiara were friends back when we were kids, he’d hear the shit her father would say about our family. Dom told us everything, and we never forgot.

It never made sense, though. We were like anyone else in the neighborhood. A simple middle-class family living to get by. There has to be a reason why they hated us. And if there is, I’ll find it.

I take great pleasure in killing our enemy, in destroying everything they value. It stills the raging of my heart and the rotting of my soul. It calms the demons that soak my veins. If Raquel knew this side of me, she’d never see me the same way again.

Maybe I should let her meet the monster. Maybe then she’ll stay away.

I can’t continue treating her the way I’ve been. I have to push her away, so far that the sweet taste of her lips can’t touch me in my dreams. She belongs across the line, in enemy territory. For as long as we’re married, the battle lines will be drawn, where there’ll be no confusion for either of us.

Touching her, kissing her…it was all a mistake. A damn foolish one. One I won’t make again. I thought I could have her body and not let her fall into my heart, but I was dead wrong.

The only way I can have her is with a purely sexual relationship. No kissing, just fucking. That gorgeous woman is my wife, after all. I can try to cage my heart, but I sure as fuck can’t cage my cock.

I’m certain I can get her to comply to my terms, at least for these few months where she believes we’re only married for both of our convenience. After that, she’ll hate me so damn much, she probably won’t want to fuck me anyway.

My hands bend into tight fists at the thought of not being with her the way we have been. At the thought of making her think she means nothing.

“Hey, Dante,” Ellie calls as she walks into the VIP room of Vixen, one of the three clubs my brothers and I own.

Shit. Why is she here?

“Ellie, hey. How you been?” I shift uncomfortably on the red suede couch.

The music blasts from the DJ booth below as she takes a seat beside me, too damn close. Vixen is a two-story nightclub, with all the VIP rooms on the second floor and enough space to dance.

“I’ve missed you,” she purrs in my ear, her long fingers massaging the top of my thigh.

She pulls back her gray eyes, leisurely scanning my face and body. Her hand goes to her short brown hair that’s longer in the front, framing her face.

“Have you missed me?” Her bright pink lips tilt up.

“I’ve been busy,” is my cool reply.

What else am I supposed to say?

No. Sorry, babe. I don’t even think about you. I’m only capable of thinking about one woman, apparently, and it ain’t you.

“Is that a polite way of saying no?” She giggles, and it annoys the fuck out of me for some reason. It never did before.

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