I’m an absolute dick.I hurt her, and I hate myself for doing it. I’m stuck between two worlds. One where all I want is to repeat what we did by the pool and give in to the attraction, while the other stops me before I’m in too deep.
I stayed away from her after breakfast yesterday, spending most of the day in the office. And today, it was pretty much the same. Now, I’m heading to Viper with Enzo to help him with some business, and I’m already late. But the real reason I’m going is to avoid her. Anything not to see that glimpse of anger combined with a bit of sadness on Raquel’s face. The same look I saw yesterday.
Why the hell did my life have to be so damn complicated? But I know I’m doing the right thing by my family.
I think.
“Fuck!” I grip the back of my neck in the elevator at work, making my way down to my car in the garage.
It’s killing me not to go home and throw her on the bed and apologize the right way. Man, I want her. The chemistry between us is worth exploring. If she were anyone else, not connected to the family I despise, I’d make her mine without a drop of hesitation.
Getting into my car, I drive a few miles to the club, knowing Enzo is already there, probably drunk or fucking someone in the bathroom.
But now that I think about it, I haven’t seen him do that shit the last few times we’ve gone out. Maybe he’s growing tired of it. I’m not a choir boy either, but I’m way more particular with who I stick my dick in. My baby bro is not that selective.
Parking the car, I make it past the long line of people waiting to get inside. The music booms from the open door while two bouncers check IDs in the front.
“Hey, Petey,” I call out to one, nodding my head in greeting.
“Hey, boss.”
I walk inside, where the smell of sweat and too much perfume invades my senses.
Why the hell am I even here? I should be home in bed with her instead.
I wonder what she’s doing. It’s not like I can pick up the phone and call her. I could call Lou, the main guard at the house, and ask for her, but what the fuck would I even say?
I head for the bar, ordering a whiskey neat and drowning in the burn flowing down my throat. As I stare at the dance floor, the people move to the beat, sandwiched between each other, not giving a shit about anything but the music. Unlike me, standing here thinking about a woman I shouldn’t want.
Turning back to the bar, I stop myself from ordering another, knowing I have to drive home. A hand clamps over my shoulder, and I’m about to bark at whoever it is, in no mood for some drunk-ass motherfucker, but I find Enzo there instead.
“Finally got here, huh? I already took care of everything, by the way!” he shouts over the music. “You’re welcome!”
“Great. Then I’m leaving.”
“What? Why? Have a few drinks.”
“I have a headache.”
He chuckles. “You don’t get headaches.”
I stare hard. “I do now.”
“Why are you really leaving?” There’s a knowing smile on his face that I want to wipe off.
“I don’t know.”
He shakes his head, amusement fitting his features. “Just go to her already.”
“How I feel about her is irrelevant.”
“Wow. So you didn’t even listen to a fucking word I said to you last time, did you?”
“I heard.” I grin.
“Man, you’re an idiot. If Joelle had a real thing for me, I’d go for it.”
“Are you saying you like her?” I jerk my head back. “You don’t like anyone.”