Page 133 of The Devil's Deal

This is too much to handle right now. I struggle to breathe, unable to pull air into my burning lungs.

Moving even closer, he destroys all the space between us, taking my hands in his. But no matter how close he gets to my body, I won’t let him get close enough to my heart.

Not again.

He broke all the trust I used to have in the boy who’d slay dragons for me. I never thought that one day, he’d be the dragon I’d need to slay.

“Why were you following me?” I ask. “All this time that was you, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah, it was. I told myself it was because of your father, but that was a lie. I wanted to know you, to be close to you somehow. I missed you, Chiara. Don’t you get it? Even when I was at my lowest, thinking you hated me, I still missed you. I still cared about you.” His fingers tighten around my hands, his gaze delving into mine. “Please forgive me. Forgive how I did what I did. I wanted to protect you from him, but I went about it all wrong.”

My heart coils with the beauty of his words, but instead of letting it consume me, letting it take me to a place where I can sympathize with his decisions, I clench my jaw and yank my hands away.

“It’s too late for all of that,” I whisper-shout, not wanting my aunt to hear. “We’re not the friends we once were.” I pin him with a glare. “All this time, you thought I was this awful person who could say those awful things after everything we’ve shared?”

I look to him with disbelief, a cry falling from my lips.

“I know I fucked up,” he whispers, “I should’ve—”

“You should’ve what, huh?!” I shout. “Should’ve come to me years ago? Confronted me?” I poke him with my finger. “You should’ve!”

My brows bend with agonizing pain. “You could’ve come to me.” My voice drops. “You could’ve told me what was going on. I would’ve helped you. I would’ve done whatever you wanted.” An ache builds behind my nose, tears stinging my eyes.

He grips my shoulder while his other hand feathers under my jaw, sending a jolt down my spine.

“I couldn't take the risk,” he tries to explain. “I couldn’t tell you my plans, because I wasn’t sure who you were loyal to, and I couldn’t let anything get in the way of what we had in store. I waited so long for it, Chiara. We all did.”

He grips my jaw within the large span of his palm, his own eyes glazing with his own hurt.

“I knew that the only way to destroy your father was to grow my kingdom so I could watch his burn. But even through it all, I wanted you. I always did. I just thought you didn’t want me, so I let my heart die the moment I read those texts. But, baby…” His voice softens with the beat of my heart. “Since I got you back, I can feel my heart beating again. I never thought I’d be capable of loving anyone, but now I've realized that the only person Iwantto love is you.”

My hand closes around his wrist, a silent whimper falling out of me, wanting to hold on while at the same time knowing I should let go. Of him, of us, of any chance we could’ve had. How can I ever trust him after what he’s done? How can we build a future on top of the ruins of us?

His eyes search mine for the forgiveness I can’t seem to give.

“In my mind, you had wronged me,” he continues. “I couldn’t see anything beyond that.”

His tone’s swimming with wave after wave of regret. It’s drowning us both with his mistakes.

“Why was it so easy for you to believe that? I know we were kids, but how could you not see how much I loved you? How much I loved Matteo?”

A sob rips from my very soul as I remember that little boy who’d sit on my lap at the bakery and feed me cupcakes his father made. Or the times his face would light up when I came in with my mom. He’d run to me, grabbing my waist and hugging me with all his might.

“I’m sorry,” is all he manages to say, his voice growing huskier, his forehead falling against mine.

I let it stay, letting every part of him stay beside me knowing it won’t last for long. Knowing that after he goes, I won’t see him again.

He eases his head back, and then his lips land on my forehead, so velvety soft. I drown in intoxicating longing for a future we could’ve had.

“I don’t want a life without you.” Pain stitches up his voice. “All this time, I could’ve had you, and instead I fucked it all away. Baby, I lo—”

“No!” I push him off of me, my hands on his chest. “Don’t youdaresay those words to me again.”

I move a step away.

“Don’t say that.” His eyes plead. “I don’t expect your forgiveness or understanding today or tomorrow, but please, baby, forgive me.”

My vision drowns with tears as I look back at him, both of us consumed by so many years of anguish, both at my father’s hand, destroying the Dom I once knew. The Dom who’d never lie or hurt me. The one who I thought knew me more than anyone else did.

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