Page 29 of A Wilder Wedding

We had lived near each other, had been with each other, had worked together for years, and yet I hadn’t been enough for her.

Why did I keep thinking that she was waiting for the next step, waiting for something better to come along?

I was such a fucking idiot.

I needed to prove that to her. Prove that I was worth her—she already knew I was an idiot.

I pulled up to the inn and noticed Alexis and Aurora glaring at me. Aurora was getting married the next day, and here she was, scowling at me.

Well, I fucking deserved that.

I walked past them and didn’t stop. I knew if I did, they’d threaten me, and while I would deserve it, I needed to get to Naomi first.

You would think after all these years I would have come up with a plan. But, of course, I hadn’t. I was just standing outside her door, knocking and hoping something would come to me in time.

She opened the door to her small apartment and frowned.

“Amos? What’s wrong?”

I had forgotten that we had a party to go to tonight. The rehearsal had already come and gone a few days ago, as everybody had been preparing for a few other weddings, so tonight was just a small get-together with everybody who already lived and worked here, and Naomi was already dressed for it. She had on a dove-gray top with leather leggings, leggings that I had bought for her last Christmas because she hadn’t wanted to buy them for herself. She had mentioned wanting them in passing when we had been sitting in my living room, each scrolling on our phones, but would never have bought herself. So I had taken note and looked over her shoulder to see what she wanted, and got them for her.

I hadn’t even thought twice about it. Because she made me fucking happy.

And yet I pushed her away. Why? Because I was a dumbass. That was why.

“Everyone’s fine. I just wanted to see you. You look gorgeous. You know I love these pants.”

She frowned for a moment, blushing slightly. “Is it weird that I think about you every time I put them on?”

“That was sort of the point,” I said truthfully. “Can I talk to you a moment? If you want me to go, I’ll go, but the thing is, I’ve been running for far too long, I’m either dragging you along or leaving you behind in the process. All because I was in my own head, afraid that I was going to force you into something that you didn’t want. Force you into whatever our lives could have been.”

She stared at me a moment before she took a step back, and I realized she was barefoot, her toes painted the same silver as her top.

I swallowed and stepped in, following her as she closed the door behind us.

“I’m not your ex-wife. I never would’ve blamed you if we had tried and failed, but we never tried. And that’s on me, too, you know.” She threw her hands up in the air. “I never told you I loved you.”

“You did.”

She frowned. “What?”

“You would whisper it in your sleep, and I’d whisper it back, but I was too cowardly to actually say it when you were awake. I didn’t want to take away your choices. I love you. I have always loved you, Naomi. But I failed you.” She didn’t say anything, so I continued, hoping I wasn’t making too much of a fool of myself.

“I’ll go with you. If you leave here because you want to spread your wings and find a new job, if you let me, I’ll go with you. I can find work anywhere.”

“But these are your grapes. Your vines.”

“They’re the Wilders’ vines. I love taking care of them. I love having my hand and stake in something that people enjoy, something I’m good at. But I can start over too. There are so many fucking places that I could work. Places we could work together. But if you want to leave? To go and leave me behind? I’ll hate that. I’ll hate myself for letting you go, but I won’t make that decision for you. Because all I’ve done is make decisions for you.”

“Amos.”

“I’ll let you walk away, but I’ll fight for you first. Because I love you, Naomi. I love being with you, I love laughing with you. I love watching these Wilders make so many fucking mistakes and yet become the best possible people they can, while I’m standing by your side. I want to watch you grow. And I want to grow with you. So let me love you, Naomi. And let me prove to you day-in and day-out that I do.”

I hadn’t realized I moved forward, cupping her face until I was wiping away her tears and she had her hand on my chest. But she wasn’t pushing me away. She just held on, a sigh escaping her lips.

“I just wanted you to fight for me.”

“I’ll always fight for you. Not with you. I love you.”

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