Page 23 of A Wilder Wedding

I cleared my throat. I didn’t want to hear what Amos had to say. I didn’t want him to tell me that he cared for me, that he wanted to still be friends, that I didn’t have to go. Because we had done this before. We had tried the friend thing, and it never worked.

I loved him too much for this.

I needed to love myself enough to go.

“Can you walk me back to my apartment? Do you mind?”

“No problem. I don’t have an update for you on anything, but we’re staying vigilant. Everyone else is safe,” he added, and the relief that I hadn’t realized I’d been aching for slid through me.

“That’s good.” I swallowed hard, the tears threatening to break. “Thank you for telling me. Can we go?”

“Of course.” He looked over my shoulder at Amos. “Lock the doors behind us. Keep your alarm set.”

“Yeah.” Amos was silent for so long I thought that would be it. That he was just going to let me go and everything would just fall into place with me not being there. So I didn’t look back at him. I took a step towards Ridge on the outer deck, when Amos finally spoke.

“Naomi, we’ll talk in the morning, okay? Once you get some rest. We’ll talk.”

I didn’t look at him, my hands shaking in front of me as a tear began to slide down my cheek.

Ridge frowned at me before looking over at Amos. I knew the two men were probably questioning each other with looks, but they didn’t say anything. I was so glad that they didn’t ask me anything else. I didn’t answer Amos, because I knew us speaking wouldn’t lead to anything.

I loved him.

He wouldn’t tell me he loved me.

So I was going to move on.

Something I should have done a long time ago.

Ridge walked me towards a golf cart, and as he drove me towards the main inn, I let the tears fall but I didn’t make a sound. I wiped at my cheeks, grateful that Ridge didn’t ask me anything. He was good for situations like this. He was growly and contained and exactly what I needed.

Someone who wouldn’t ask me what was wrong.

Maybe he would think this was because of the attack, and maybe the adrenaline finally wearing off was part of it, but that wasn’t it. Not in its entirety.

Alexis stood in the doorway, Eli at her side as we pulled up, and while I didn’t want to speak to anyone, I was glad to not be alone.

And wasn’t that something. I was waiting for everyone else in their couple form to take care of me.

Because I couldn’t seem to take care of myself.

“Let’s get you tucked into bed, shall we?” Alexis asked, but she didn’t ask me why I looked like I had shattered into a million pieces.

Couldn’t everyone see those shards of glass on the ground? Those parts of me that I was leaving behind with every step?

Couldn’t they see that I wasn’t the Naomi I needed to be? That I was the Naomi I had become due to my own actions. My own inactions.

I didn’t say anything as Alexis and I walked into my rooms and she closed the door behind me. I knew she said something to Eli, probably something about the kids, I didn’t know. It was all I could do to wipe my cheeks, and then realize that I wasn’t keeping up with the tears.

“Let go. I’ve got you,” Alexis whispered, and then I was in her arms, kneeling on the ground, as sobs wracked me.

Because it wasn’t just embarrassment and anger and pain radiating through me.

It was everything.

I cried in my friend’s arms, with the family that I had made, knowing that I was going to have to walk away again.

Because nothing had been fixed. And this might finally be the true ending that I hadn’t realized I was waiting for.

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