Page 13 of A Wilder Wedding

CHAPTERFOUR

Naomi

I’d made a scene. I could not believe I’d done that. Because no matter what had happened, or what had been said, I shouldn’t have. The Wilders didn’t deserve it and, honestly, neither did Amos. Yes, I was hurting, and yes, we’d both made mistakes, but I needed to be the bigger person and move on. If he didn’t want a future with me, then I would deal. But seeing his ex-wife, and seeing the way that things just spiraled out of control? It made things difficult. And it made me realize that I needed to do better. I needed to figure out exactly what I wanted, and how I was going to make that happen. Because being here, seeing him every day, this wasn’t working. I knew that. I needed to stop whatever the hell was going on in my brain.

I would love him until the end of my days, even if I found a way to mute that love.

“Naomi? Why are you standing outside instead of coming in?” Aurora asked as she walked towards the side door of the winery, a frown on her face. I really liked Aurora, and I liked the fact that she made Ridge smile. I hadn’t known Ridge as long as I had known the other Wilders, but he and his brothers had moved right on in and had started their lives. Much like their cousins, they came from all walks of life, with different experiences, and were coming together. Although Gabriel, the youngest Wilder, didn’t live here because he was on tour currently as a freaking rockstar of all things, he visited often and pitched in where he could. All of them seemed to have this sadness that wouldn’t wash away. Not that I was going to let myself think too hard about that considering I was the one standing out here.

Aurora had changed everything for Ridge. She dealt with her own pain in the past, but had come together just like the others had. And now she and Ridge were about to be married. And I was blessed to call her a friend.

“Sorry, I’m just thinking.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head. “No. Not really. Maybe after some wine,” I added, when she just raised a brow.

She laughed and we opened the doors, heading into the employee part of the winery.

I loved this part of our routines. It wasn’t every week, and sometimes we had to fit it in with small groupings of Wilders rather than everyone, but our girl time wine breaks meant the world to me.

Maddie was the one who usually set them up, and if she couldn’t be there, Kendall or Alexis would do it.

It had all started when Kendall and Alexis started to work with the Wilders. While Maddie had been here the longest, the two of us hadn’t had wine chats together like this. We clearly had been missing out.

Before the Wilder men had bought this property, and even for the first couple of years after, Maddie and I would meet up when we could, but not like this. It hadn’t been wine-tasting, appetizer-devouring, girl time. Where we could talk about our lives and feel like we were a family.

I was going to miss this when I left.

I nearly tripped over my feet as I thought those words. I hadn’t let myself think them before. Were they true? Was I going to leave?

Working with Amos day-in and day-out wasn’t working. I wasn’t moving on. I wasn’t figuring out what to do with my life.

I was wallowing, hoping for a better answer to a situation that there were no answers for.

I knew that. I had to.

And that meant I had to leave.

It would break me. Because this was my family now. After all, my own family left much to be desired.

I was an innkeeper. I could work anywhere. And with my experience, I would be able to start at a higher position than I had when I started here as a part-time employee.

I knew this would be different for me.

I could become a manager or do something beyond what I was doing now. I knew if I asked, the Wilders could either help me get in a higher position within their own company, because they didn’t just promote within the Wilder family, contrary to popular belief. Or they would give me references and help me find the next step for my career.

I could leave this family, these people that had become mine if I needed to.

Amos couldn’t. He was integral to the winery. And while I was integral to the day-to-day aspects of the Wilders, I could be replaced.

I wasn’t saying that because I was anything less than him. It was just the nature of our jobs. Replacing Amos would be far more difficult, and it would hurt the business, while I could flourish in other places. Even if it broke me.

I wasn’t going to think about that just then. For now, I just wanted to focus on our girl time.

Kendall and Alexis were already inside the employee room, which did not look like any employee break room I had ever seen outside of the Wilders. There were comfortable couches and chairs, and even a beanbag area that I had lain in once after one too many glasses of wine. The ambiance was the same as the front of the house, with luscious wood paneling, a roaring fire, and beautiful decorations. This wasn’t just a place to hide a broken toaster and a refrigerator that was never cleaned out. No, this was just as classy and beautiful as anything the Wilders tended to touch these days.

Bethany and Lark were there as well, both in the small kitchen to the side, organizing the appetizers. I looked over at Kendall who just smiled.

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