Page 44 of Inked Craving

“I want to blame it on the hormones, but I don’t think I can. You’re just so good with her, Lee.”

“Emery’s an easy baby to love.” I held out my free arm, and Paige slid into my side, holding me close. “We need to talk, Paige,” I said after a moment, knowing that I was going to break this moment and change the way we were. But I had to. I couldn’tnotlove this little girl and the woman in my arms, and I needed to be able to walk away if I was forced to. If I didn’t, I would end up breaking all of us in the process.

Paige pulled away and then wiped her face. “I know. I’m just really not good at the talking part. At least when it comes to me. Anyone else, I can get them to tear open their hearts and pour their feelings into the conversation so I can figure out what’s going on. And yet when it comes to me? Not so much. It just doesn’t work out.”

“Good. We’re the same way. Except for the fact that I suck at communicating with anybody but about the most trivial things.”

She rolled her eyes. “We both know that’s not true.”

“Well, recently, at least for the last nine months or so, I’ve been really good about not stepping over the line and talking about what’s important.”

Emery gurgled in my arms, and I rocked her, looking down at the little baby that held my heart. “I don’t think I can do this, Paige.”

Paige let out a shocked breath, and I held back a curse. “I mean, I don’t think I can hold this little girl, holdyou, and not want more. This wasn’t what I planned. I still don’t know what the hell I’m doing.”

“Don’t curse in front of the baby,” she said quickly, and we both laughed.

“You guys are Montgomerys. It’s going to be hard not to curse. I’ll try. But like I was saying, I know that we’ve been so good about trying to remain friends and not talking about the important things between us. And yet we have to. Don’t we? We started to the day she was born, and then we pushed everything aside for obvious reasons. I don’t think I can do that anymore.”

Paige bit her lip and nodded. “I know. I know. I’ve been so selfish in wanting you in my life, and yet I also know that you have your own. You need to be able to do what you want.”

“That’s not what I’m saying,” I whispered as Emery’s eyelids began drooping. “I’m telling you that I want more, Paige. That I’m tired of pretending.” Paige’s eyes widened, and I shook my head. “You can’t be surprised.”

“I just thought that our one time was to relieve stress or tension. Ever since then, you’ve just been such a good friend. I haven’t wanted to break things.”

I sighed, wondering why it was so hard for me to just tell her. “I know. We’ve both been good at dancing around the subject, and yet, here it is. We’ve spent more time together than I have with any of my previous girlfriends. I held you when you gave birth, Paige. There’s no going back.”

“I don’t want to ruin this, Lee.”

“Paige,” I whispered, letting my heartbeat slow from its rapid pace for just an instant. “We’ve been more for a while. You know that.”

She nodded, and then I leaned forward, over her baby girl, and kissed Paige softly. “We’ve been more. And maybe we should own up to it.”

Paige leaned back and licked her lips. “So, nothing will change?”

“Some things might,” I whispered, letting the hunger seep into my voice.

Paige’s eyes widened, and then she smiled. “Oh, that. Some things. I think we’ve been so good about not talking about what this is, that I’ve confused myself. So maybe we should just try. As long as we don’t hurt Emery or each other.”

“Never. That’s the number one rule. We let ourselves be who we are, what we’ve been without talking about it, but I can kiss you.”

“You’ve been kissing me, Lee. That’s part of the problem.”

“Well, now I can kiss you and not confuse us both.”

“You’re saying this as if it’s easy.”

“Nothing with us is ever easy, Paige. But maybe we should try.”

When I kissed her again, she didn’t pull away. And when Emery cried between us, Paige took her back, fed her, and I heated up our dinner. Paige was right. Nothing had changed.

Buteverythinghad.

Everything had changed.

And I had to hope to hell that we hadn’t just made a mistake that would cost us everything.

ChapterFourteen

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