Page 48 of Mated in Darkness

I frowned at that, wondering at the history, but nobody seemed surprised about it. I had so many questions about these wolves and their histories, but considering some were centuries old, I would never keep up with all the lives they had lived.

And now it seemed, as long as I didn’t die in my first shift or in a war, I would live centuries as well.

I swallowed hard.

“What’s wrong?” Kaylee asked, as everyone looked at me.

I cringed. “Sorry. I was thinking about how my life is completely different. What I’m about to do and I have the possibility of living for centuries instead of only a few short decades. That’s a lot of time to study on my work.”

Kaylee rolled her eyes. “Of course, that’s what you would think.”

“I don’t know. An age-old geneticist could come up with brilliant breakthroughs.” Reed smiled. “Or in a century, you could change your mind to become an artist like me. Or you could be anything that you want to be. We’ll have to talk soon about setting up your lab or whatever you need up north, but for now, we should probably get outside. So you can find your wolf, and then we can find the bastards that are hurting our own.”

He growled as he said it, his eyes glowing gold. I had never heard Reed growl like that, not in the few short days I had known him. Kaylee just grinned as her father did so, and Parker’s eyes glowed, and then the Starlights did as well.

My wolf reared up, pushing at me, and I let out a sharp breath. “Okay then. Um. Is it supposed to hurt like this?”

Pain radiated at my side, and Kaylee cringed. “It’s going to hurt worse. I’m sorry. Shifting is beautiful, but it’s not easy. It’s painful.”

“And the first shift is always going to be the hardest because of the unknown,” Riaz said as he came forward. “But we’ll be here with you.”

“We’ll be there in the trees,” Reed corrected, as Parker nodded.

“Kaylee will be the only one in your sight, so you’re not self-conscious,” Brendan added.

“However, eventually, you are going to get used to shifting in front of others. The social norms of humans aren’t the same with us wolves,” she paused. “I’m not sure about the cats.”

I let out a breath, telling myself that this is just one step. The first step for the rest of my life. Then why did it feel as if I were being thrown off a cliff rather than just taking a step?

I found myself outside, stripped down to the skin in front of Kaylee. It felt odd to be naked under the moonlight, but then I looked down at my very naked mate and swallowed hard. “Oh. I think I could like this part.”

Kaylee rolled her eyes. “Most shifters don’t notice nudity in this case. But we’re mates, so we’re allowed to. Just know that while my father and cousins aren’t watching us, they will be able to hear us during the shift. So be careful.”

I blinked. “Well, that just put a downer on anything.”

My cock still twitched looking at her, and Kaylee’s eyes glowed gold as she trailed her gaze down my body.

“After.”

“After we shift back?”

Kaylee cringed. “Yes. After we shift back. Only sex as humans, though I thought you already knew that.”

“I did. It was just nice to have it confirmed.”

Kaylee let out a snort. Then I reached out to try to grab her hand. A spasm of pain rocketed me, and I let on a sharp breath. “Shit.”

“Down on your hands and knees, now. This is what I want you to do.” She put her hands on my shoulders and looked right into my eyes as she knelt before me. I had to do my best not to stare at her breasts or any other part of her. However, the pain was so intense inside me it was becoming easier and easier with each passing moment. “What I want you to do is to breathe through this. To pull on that slight tug you feel between yourself and your wolf. It’s going to be different than the cord that connects you as a human. And it will be different from the that connects us as mates. But it’s something there, a jagged edge, something rugged. Something that is just yours. Whatever’s pushing at you, grab for it, and hold on.”

I met her gaze, the green of them soothing as well as intoxicating. And then, as I did as she said, imagining that thread that connected me with my wolf, it snapped its jaws down on the thread, and I let out a pained howl.

“There you go. It’s waiting. There you go, breathe. Now you can do this. Push again, and your wolf will know what to do. Just lean into the change. It will guide you, and I will be here for you throughout it all. I promise.” Then she leaned down, pressed her lips to mine, and I closed my eyes, pulling at the bond between my wolf and me.

Everything shifted at that point. A bright light behind my eyes nearly blinded me. Bones broke, tendons tore, my muscles raged, and I let out a scream that turned into a pure howl.

It felt like nothing I’d ever been through before, nothing I had ever known.

My wolf nudged at me, looking at my face as if trying to soothe me through the hurt. As I looked down, everything was so much brighter, different.

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