Page 8 of Inked Devotion

“Together enough that we’re ready to start the next phase of our life,” Michelle said, her eyes brimming with tears. I took a deep sip of my water before I set the glass down and looked between the two of them.

“You sure you’re both okay?”

Laura nodded. “Yes. Just nervous.” She let out a breath. “Michelle and I want a baby.”

I grinned, leaning forward as happiness shot through me at the news. “Seriously? That’s amazing. You guys are going to be great moms.”

“I hope so,” Michelle said as she looked at Laura with such love in her gaze, something twinged inside of me. Not jealousy for them, because I didn’t love Laura like that, but maybe because I had never loved anyone like that. But this wasn’t about me.

“I’m so happy for you guys. Hell, can I be an uncle? I want to be an uncle. I mean, I’m going to have tons of nieces and nephews, but I feel like your kid’s going to need an uncle.”

The two of them gave each other a look before looking at me again, and something clicked. “You’re not asking me to be an uncle, are you?” I whispered.

“No,” Laura said, but she rolled her shoulders back, something that she did every time that she was stressed out and needed to get it out there. “We need a donor. While we could go to a bank and get someone anonymous and have it work out perfectly, we wondered if there was a way we could have you help us. We would love for our child to have the genes of someone that we know, love, and cherish. I know this sounds weird and odd, but it feels like you’re part of our family already, and it just seems right. If it doesn’t seem right at all, we can walk away and just pretend we never had this talk.” She was rambling. I just blinked, the hollow sound in my head ringing.

“You want my…you want my…” my voice trailed off.

Michelle let out a breath. “We want your sperm. Sorry for laying it all out there, but we want your sperm. We realize that it’s an odd question to ask, and something very deeply personal, and maybe the idea of going to a bank where it would just be random and anonymous would be better, but we want to know who’s part of our family. And we already consider you part of it. I mean, you accepted me with open arms even as you introduced me to your ex. We’re a peculiar bunch, and we love you.”

Laura nodded. “We love you very much.”

“I don’t…Why me?” I asked again.

“We just told you,” Laura answered with an awkward laugh. “We love you. We like you. The idea that the Montgomerys would be truly taking over the world if we increased the bunch, we feel like we want you to be part of this, in a bizarre way. And now that I’m saying this out loud, it sounds like we’re trying to be a poly-romance, and we aren’t.”

That made me chuckle. “Yes, we’re not like that, but hell. I just, can I have time? I want to help you guys however I can, but I need time.”

I couldn’t think, because what the hell would this mean? I wouldn’t be a father, and I would help create life, bring joy to their family, and help make a new baby. It would be clinical. It wouldn’t be real. Or maybe it would, and I was thinking too hard about it. I just needed to think, but I couldn’t. I wanted nothing to do with the food on my plate, and the girls looked at me and sighed.

“Of course you can have all the time in the world. The less time, the better, since we’re working on fertility meds, but you have time. We’re never going to pressure you into anything. And if you say no,” Laura added, “That’s fine. We don’t have to talk about it again, and you will always be this baby’s uncle. We will always be open with our child as to how things occurred. If that makes sense.”

“So your child would know if I was the one who donated,” I said, my voice wooden, trying to breathe.

“Yes,” Michelle said. “Secrets change things, and we don’t want it to be like that. If this isn’t what you want, just tell us.”

“No, I don’t know what I want. I just need a moment to think, to breathe. I wasn’t expecting this at lunch.”

“And we kind of ruined your Reuben, didn’t we?” Laura asked, and I chuckled.

“Maybe I’ll just take it home and eat it later.”

“Okay,” Laura said, a wobbly smile on her face. I cursed under my breath, pushed my seat back, and stood up before I kissed the top of her head, and then did the same to Michelle.

“I love you both. And just like I said before, you both are going to be wonderful parents. I just need a minute to think about exactly how I’m going to help the situation. I need time to think, and I wasn’t prepared for this.”

“We expected that. We’re going to give you all the time in the world because this is a big step,” Michelle said.

Laura smiled. “Very big step. We’re here if you want to talk about more and what plans you’re thinking, and exactly what would occur. No matter what, we love you, Benjamin. We wouldn’t be asking if we didn’t.”

I let out a shaky breath again, looked at them, and then looked down at the plate in front of me.

“We’ll take it home; I’m pretty sure you’re not going to want to eat that while thinking about sperm,” Michelle said, before she laughed. “Okay, maybe we aren’t going to eat it either.” I laughed again, said my goodbyes, and headed home. I couldn’t think clearly. I needed someone to talk to, needed to talk it out, and I didn’t think it could be my family just then. They would have questions. They would have their own opinions, and while I loved my family, sometimes they were very set in their paths. They would either be all for it and ask me why I was waiting and not just donating that moment, I thought with a laugh, or they would want me to think about every single ramification of what it meant of having a child out there with my genes, but wasn’t mine.

Hell, I needed to focus.

I turned the corner, about to cross a crosswalk, and saw Brenna there, reusable shopping bags in her hands and a smile on her face.

I knew what I needed to do. Even if it made no sense, but I needed to getaway. I needed to think. I wasn’t going to do that with my family all around me.

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