Page 62 of Inked Devotion

I snorted. “Don’t screw up. I can try that.”

“Good. Are you heading over there today? Going to make more plans, or are you going to wing it? Because winging it in this family is starting to work,” Lee said as he took another sip of his coffee. “Damn, I’m going to need to ask Brenna about her bean distributor. I’m a little jealous of this coffee.”

“How much coffee have you had?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at Lee.

“Too much. My deadline is kicking my ass, but it’s fine. I kind of like the fact that all of you guys are settling down. I’m the last one standing.”

“You do realize that that’s the perfect thing to say before you fall?” Beckett asked.

“Hey, I didn’t say I was falling,” I sputtered.

Lee and Beckett gave each other a look before they raised their brows at me.

I threw up my hands. “Seriously. I’m not falling. It’s way too soon for that. We’re just taking it slow.”

“You guys are having a baby. I don’t think slow is what you’re doing,” Lee corrected.

“Those are two separate things. Our relationship, and the baby.”

“Do you hear yourself right now?” Beckett asked, tilting his head. “Do you hear the nonsense slipping through your lips? You can’t separate the two, and you know that. You’re just saying that you want the two separated because you’re afraid to fuck it up. I get it. It’s scary, but you can’t separate the two. So, while you say that you’re taking it slow and you’re not going to complicate your situation, it is complicated. Every adult relationship is, you’re just throwing in more wrenches than usual.”

“You’re saying that Brenna and I shouldn’t sleep together again?” I asked, my stomach tightening. Because maybe that would be the answer. If we fucked this up and decided that we weren’t working, we couldn’t just walk away. Then again, would we ever have? Our lives were so entangled because of our friendship and families, walking away wouldn’t have been an option before. Let alone now, with the baby.

I rubbed my temples, and Lee sighed. “And now he’s getting it.”

“I got it before. I just ignored it.”

“No, you didn’t. I know you didn’t.”

I looked up at Beckett. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“Then don’t. I’m not going to tell you what to do because I don’t have any answers for you. I love you. You’re my fucking twin. My other half that’s not my actual other half,” he said with a laugh.

“I guess other halves don’t work when you’re getting married, and I’m, well, with Brenna.”

“Good. You’ve made the first cognitive leap,” Lee added. “You’re with Brenna. Now think about what your feelings are towards Brenna. I know, it’s me saying this. Feelings? Relationships? Commitment? Shudder, shudder, shudder. However, make a choice. Figure out what she wants. And remember that we’re here for you. Maybe just to confuse you further, but we are here.”

They changed the subject to work, and wedding plans, even though we didn’t get into it too deeply, and I forced myself to think. At least about the topics at hand and not about Brenna.

I was heading over there later today to work on her garden while she was at work. We had planned it. It was something that I had always done as her friend. Now we weren’t friends anymore. Not that way.

We kept trying to put things into boxes, as if those labels would make sense and make things easier.

I had a feeling all it was doing was complicating the situation.

By the time we finished our coffees, and the guys headed out, I was more confused than ever, and yet I knew if I just focused on what was in front of me, I would be fine. It was what I did. The rest of my siblings were the ones who panicked or needed to run full steam ahead into whatever situation they were in to fix it. I was the one that sat back and pieced things together to make my choices. The idea that I wasn’t right then told me that maybe I did need to breathe a bit more and focus on what I had and what I didn’t.

Brenna wasn’t home by the time I got to her house, but that was fine. I might not have a key to her place, just like she didn’t have a key to mine, as we weren’t there yet, but I had everything I needed in my truck. I had to weed out a few things, and I had a plant in the back of my truck that I was going to plant for her.

She had always wanted a bottlebrush in the front of her house but hadn’t had time to figure out where it should go. Well, I had the time, and here I was.

I got to get digging, knowing where I wanted to put it and where Brenna would want it as well. She knew I was coming over but didn’t know about the bottlebrush. That was fine with me because I wanted to surprise her. This was something she wanted and something I could help with. I might not have any answers for anything else we were doing, but this I could do.

I was just getting the hose out to water the newly planted mini tree when Brenna pulled into the driveway and parked beside me. She’d opened the garage door but didn’t bother to park inside. Instead, she got out, her eyes wide. “You said you were going to work on the garden a bit, but I didn’t know you’d be doing all this. Is that a bottlebrush? For me?” She clapped her hands together and came over to me before she threw herself into my arms. I dropped the hose and gathered her close, laughing as I held her.

“I’m covered in dirt.” I looked down at her. “And you are covered in flour and frosting. It’s an interesting mix.” I kissed her hard on the mouth, and she sank into me, and it felt right. As if we had been doing this for years rather than just these few moments.

“It’s beautiful. Thank you. You know I could have helped you with it though, pick the plant out.” She put her hands on her hips, looked around. “It’s what I would’ve chosen, as you know, and yet I could have helped. You didn’t need to do everything on your own.”

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