Page 70 of Inked Devotion

“Best for who? For you? Should we have defined labels? Because I wouldn’t mind that. I wouldn’t mind knowing who we are or what we want from each other. We weren’t in the same position when we slept together, nor are we in the same position when we found out we were pregnant. Things are different now. You can feel it.”

“I know things are different, but it’s just happening so quickly. I don’t want you to wake up one day and realize that you were forced into this.”

“Brenna. Frankly, I’m doing my best not to scare you, but this is reality. Not some movie.”

She nodded, swallowing hard. “I know that. If it were some movie, I’d end up falling for my best friend like everyone else thought, not his twin where everybody gets confused, and I don’t know what I’m doing.”

“What the fuck, Brenna?” I asked, ice flooding through my veins.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Then why did you bring him up?”

“Because everybody thought I was supposed to be with Beckett, and I didn’t want him like that. And suddenly I’m with you, and I want you? I don’t know how it happened. And now I’m afraid that people keep pushing us in this direction, and you’re not going to want this.”

“Stop telling me what I want. I’m trying not to tell you what you want, so you don’t get to do the same for me.” I paused and blurted, “Am I just his replacement?”

“What the fuck? That’s not what I said.”

“Then why bring him up?” I asked again.

“Because he’s part of this. He’s your twin, my best friend. Things are complicated. He doesn’t have anything to do with this.” She put her hands over her stomach. “Our baby. And I feel like everything’s getting confused and going too fast, and I need a moment to breathe.”

“I like you, Brenna,” I said after a moment. “Fuck it. I’m falling in love with you.” Her eyes widened, and I hated myself. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it, what we’re supposed to do about it. Because you might not have asked for this, but neither did I. But here we are, I’m fucking falling in love with you, and every time I look at you, I’m afraid you’re not going to feel the same way.”

“I don’t know what we’re supposed to do, Benjamin. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. What if we keep doing this and we realize that we were doing it for the wrong reasons? We’ll just hurt each other more. I’m scared.”

She swallowed hard, and I cursed. I moved forward, cupping her face. “I don’t know what we’re going to do, Brenna. We can’t run away from each other.”

“I don’t want to run. I need to think.”

She didn’t push me away then though, she put her arms around my waist and held me close, and I did the same, inhaling her scent and telling myself that this wasn’t an end. That she wasn’t pushing me away for good. She was scared, and fuck, so was I, but I was terrified that somehow this wasn’t going to be enough. That I wasn’t going to be enough. When Brenna got scared, she faced things head-on by taking care of others. Never herself.

I didn’t know where I stood in her mind.

Nor did I know what would happen once I let go and finally let myself believe.

Chapter 18

Brenna

Iwasn’t sure I could blame everything on hormones, yet part of me knew that might be the case right now. My body hurt, my soul ached, and I felt like all I did was make mistake after mistake.

I had been so mean to myself and Benjamin the night before. So casually cruel. I knew I was acting off, that I wasn’t saying the right things, but as I opened my mouth, random words just tumbled out.

There was no excuse other than I needed to stop and take a minute to think of what I was doing.

“You want to talk about it?” Archer asked me from my side, and I turned, doing my best to pull myself from my thoughts.

We were at Riggs’, doing our best to do monthly evenings at the bar. We used to do it weekly, but between work and new challenges and changes in our lives, we were no longer able to meet up as often. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, as I already missed how much time we had spent with one another. However, maybe it was for the best. After all, I didn’t know where I stood with Benjamin, and I knew the others were going to be able to tell that something was off with us the moment they looked at us. Considering Archer was here talking to me about it right then, I had been right.

“Everything’s fine,” I lied.

“You can’t lie to me, Brenna. You’re my friend, and having a baby with my brother. I can tell these things.”

“Me being pregnant with a Montgomery baby means that suddenly you can read my thoughts?” I asked, teasing, though not fully teasing. I wouldn’t be surprised if some radar and tracking software came with the Montgomerys.

“Not that way, though that would be a cool trick,” Archer said with a laugh.

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