About this not being a mistake. Because I had enough of those waiting for me at home. Enough choices to make.
I didn’t know if Beckett Montgomery needed to be one of them.
Chapter 16
Beckett
Eliza:Thank you for letting me know you made it home.
Me:Always. Will I see you soon?
I didn’t know why I even asked. Of course, we would see each other soon. We always did. We had a weekly Thursday night group event at Riggs’. That didn’t mean I could see her in any other capacity, though. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I focus?
That had been the problem with everything before I even left on that so-called vacation. And now here I was, acting as if I were outside of my body again, watching, unable to make a decision. I was lost. All I wanted was for Eliza to ask me more. And that didn’t make any sense. We were friends. She was a friend that I couldn’t stop thinking about—in ways that I shouldn’t.
There were too many obstacles between us. Marshall. What Marshall had done. Our families. Our friends. All of it. I had dinner plans with my brothers later tonight, and they would be welcoming me home before I had to go into work the next day. I knew they wanted to check on me since everybody knew what had happened. And I wanted to see them. I needed to face them and tell them that I was sorry that I was an idiot.
I needed to talk to Brenna, but she hadn’t answered when I called earlier, and I was still waiting on her text back. I knew she was busy with an upcoming wedding, but still, we had left things unsaid. As all of that cascaded within me, I had thoughts of Eliza on my brain. I needed to focus, and I couldn’t.
Eliza:I’ll see you on Thursday at Riggs’ right?
Me:Yeah. If not before. Just let me know.
I was one minute away from passing a note during study hall and wondering how she felt about me. Hell, I needed a drink. Or a nap. Or to get Eliza off my mind. That wasn’t going to happen.
I felt that deep down in my bones. And that was the problem.
Eliza:Is everything awkward now?
I swallowed hard and sat on the couch.
Me:Maybe? I can’t stop thinking about you. Remember, no secrets. Well, here I am. I want to see you again, Eliza.
We had said no secrets, and I needed to make sure I kept that promise. With everybody. First, I needed to say this. And hope to hell she didn’t run away from the phone.
Eliza:I want to see you again soon. Even if we might be ruining everything.
I cringed, not liking the sound of that.
Me:Friends first. Always.
Eliza:Promise. I need to go. My brother’s calling me. But no secrets. And I miss you.
I bit my lip and let out a relieved sigh.
Me:Miss you, too.
Hell, things had changed so much in only a few days. Maybe that’s what was supposed to happen. Change flipped on a dime and scared you into a new life.
I needed to apologize to those I had hurt. Figure out who I needed to be. And wonder what the hell I should do.
I set down my phone and went to get something to drink, just to focus before my brothers arrived. I needed to talk with Brenna. I needed to talk to my parents. And I had work to do. I had so much shit on my mind, yet the only thing I could think about was Eliza.
It was a problem.
At least I wasn’t thinking about the shooting every single moment anymore. There had been a change. Even though it probably wasn’t for the better.
The doorbell rang as soon as I got to the kitchen, so I turned around, wondering if one of my brothers was early. When I peeked, Brenna stood there, her feet tucked into her Crocs, flour on her shoulder, and a touch of frosting in her hair. She looked as if she had just come from a busy day at the bakery. She looked exhausted, though I didn’t think she looked mad at me. Disappointed, perhaps? I didn’t know. Once again, I knew I’d likely fucked up. I needed to fix it.