Page 18 of Inked Obsession

I hadn’t been good enough for Marshall.

I hiccupped a sob and wiped the tears from my face. I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying.

My husband had cheated on me.

My perfect husband, who had been fighting for our country, who had been killed in an IED blast. I had buried him, not knowing that he had betrayed our vows. He’d broken everything I’d thought we stood for. He’d changed who we were, and he hadn’t even told me. Somehow, I wasn’t his anymore, I was only part of him, not everything. He’d altered my past without my knowledge, and now I had nothing to stand on.

I should have been the tangled threads of our love and strength woven into the woman I’d become. Instead, part of me had unraveled, and he hadn’t had the grace to let me in on the secret.

I had stood by his casket as the honor guard laid him to rest. As each rifle blast had made me jump. I had gripped Annabelle’s hand so hard, I knew I had left bruises. Brenna had been on her other side, and I could feel her strength through Annabelle. The Montgomerys had shown up in force. Every single one of Annabelle’s siblings. They all came for me. Even Lee came. And Archer’s boyfriend… Paige’s. Annabelle’s Jacob. They all came to help me. To help me bury my husband when I hadn’t known what to do. I had been stoic. Stood there and tried to catch my breath as I tried to figure out who I was supposed to be now that he was gone. They had handed me the folded flag, murmured words to me. Marshall’s parents had been on my other side, breaking down in front of the mourners as they shattered for their lost son.

I wasn’t sure if Natasha had shown. I hadn’t seen her, though I had casually looked. But I couldn’t think about her then. I hadn’t realized Marshall had cheated on me. Had no clue in that moment. Didn’t know that a little girl was alive with his smile and part of his soul. While I had always had something against Natasha in the back of my mind because of the way his parents treated me over her, I honestly wouldn’t have minded if the other woman had come. Marshall had been a huge part of her life growing up. It would have only made sense for her to be there. To say goodbye.

Had there been a child there? I could barely remember anything but the scent in the air from the rifle fire. The cool breeze on my skin as I tried to catch up with everything around me. I remembered the touches on my shoulder, the deep hugs from those who loved me. My brothers hadn’t been able to come. They’d all been overseas themselves, and every time I thought about it, I could barely catch my breath. Because what if they didn’t come back? What if they died over there, just like Marshall had? They had all been spread across the world in different places at the time, though I had known they were coming back soon. To their home in Texas.

Maybe Ishouldgo there. Perhaps I should go and let my brothers take care of me for a little while as I figured out what to do. Could I share the same state with people who hated me? Who wanted nothing from me but the money their dead son had left me? Could I share the same state with a woman Marshall had loved, one he’d taken to bed that eventually gave life to a little girl? A child with his eyes.

I swallowed hard and set my pencil down. Then I looked at the sketch in front of me and shook my head.

“What a waste,” I whispered. I crumpled the paper, knowing it wasn’t nearly good enough nor salvageable. I would start over, and I would have time. I had two more commissions to start before I could take a break. First, I had to get through these.

I couldn’t just sit here and mope, thinking about Marshall and the fact that everything I’d known was a lie. I needed to do something. I needed coffee. I didn’t want to make coffee. I had to get out of the house.

“I’m going to get coffee,” I told myself. I had reached the point where I was talking aloud to the emptiness of my home, trying to encourage myself to actually leave the house. I was officially losing my mind. I really needed to get out. I shook my head, put everything away, made sure I at least had on a bra, and made my way to my car.

Annabelle and Jacob were at work, and nobody was outside when I got into my front seat. My garage was full of things from my old house that I wasn’t sure what to do with, mostly Marshall’s stuff, and a lot of Jacob’s old things that they hadn’t fully integrated into Annabelle’s place. I didn’t mind sharing the space, and I still had enough room to park if I wanted to. I had been too tired the night before to bother.

There was something truly wrong with me if that was the case.

I made my way to my favorite coffee shop a few miles down the road and figured maybe I should just go in and order something rather than going through their small drive-thru. I picked up my bag, made sure I didn’t look like a horror show, and walked inside. The place was decently empty since it was the middle of a workday and not around lunchtime. I went up to order my drink. The barista smiled brightly at me, her red and curly hair piled on top of her head, an eyebrow ring glittering in her brow. She looked hot with it. Maybe I should get an eyebrow ring. Or my tongue pierced. Or dye my hair pink.

Or I needed to get some sleep.

“What can I get you?” she asked.

“A non-fat, sugar-free, caramel latte,” I said. “No whip.”

“Sounds good to me. I take it you don’t want any extra caramel sauce on top, then?” she asked with a wink.

I frowned, wondering why I was ordering my usual when nothing about my current situation wasusual. “You know what, give me all the sugar. I’ll still take the fat-free milk, but I want sugar. And the caramel sauce. And whip. It’s been that kind of day.”

The girl’s brows rose for a second, and then she grinned. “You know what, I can do that. And since I’m the manager, I’m giving you a cookie on the house.”

I nearly started crying. “You don’t have to do that.”

“Sure, I don’t. But I want to. Because…yay, sugar.”

I held back a sigh.

“Yes, sugar is amazing. Thank you. Seriously. Thank you.” I said that all through gritted teeth because, apparently, I looked like I was manic enough to need a free cookie. I would take it. I would take anything to make me smile again.

Because my husband had fucking cheated on me. There was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t just go and tell everybody that the man they thought was a hero, who had done so much for everyone and was such a nice and kind person had cheated on me.

His parents wouldn’t lie to me. It had to be true. I didn’t have a path before me. No directions for what steps I needed to take or how to feel.

I looked around, and my breath hitched as I saw a woman with dark hair, and a little girl with curly black hair—the same as Marshall’s. The little girl danced around. She had to be a little over two, but I couldn’t see faces. The mom bent down, picked up the little girl, and the little girl giggled. That giggle went straight to my heart, and I swallowed hard.

They left, and I still didn’t see their faces. I knew it couldn’t be Natasha and Madison. They wouldn’t be at my coffee shop just a block from my house. I didn’t even know where they lived. I knew nothing about them. I had ignored Marshall’s parents’ phone calls and emails. I knew they would probably stop by my house at some point to talk about everything, and I would deal with it then. Or, I’d just wait for whatever legal issues might come up. I needed to talk to my family. My friends. I needed to get it out. I would pretend that I hadn’t just thought that two strangers were my husband’s mistress and love child.

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