Page 10 of From Our First

“Medium-rare?” I asked, and Myra gave a slight nod. I hated that I felt relieved at that.

Whenever we went out when we were younger, especially when we went to the fancy places for an anniversary or something, she helped me order. After all, she had grown up in that world. I was good at ordering from Applebees, not so much for places like this. Every once in a while, I went out to similar places with people I occasionally worked with, but it wasn’t the same since it was a work thing. And while I always liked my steak medium-rare, apparently, being in front of Myra meant I felt like I needed confirmation.

I hated that feeling. Like we were stuck in the past, yet somehow needed to be in the future.

It made no sense.

“We’ll get that right out. Would you like bread?” the waiter asked.

“Sure.” I didn’t move my eyes from Myra.

“Their bread is delicious,” Myra said, playing with her wine glass stem. “And back to if we should tell them… I don’t know.”

“If we do, maybe they’ll stop trying to set us up,” I countered.

“Perhaps. Or maybe the betrayal will be so great that they’ll want nothing to do with us.”

“Arden already knows.”

Myra winced. “I know. But there was no keeping it from your twin. Especially not when she saw my ring.”

“True. If we tell the rest of them, they’re going to get upset with her, too.”

“They damn well will not,” Myra said. “We will take the blame for everything if and when we tell them. Arden doesnotget touched.”

I tried to ignore the pride I felt at Myra stepping up and protecting my sister. I didn’t know who I was to Myra, not anymore, and I didn’t even know how I felt about her.

I hated what she did to me and who we were in the past, but I really didn’t know this woman in front of me.

Maybe that was the problem.

“Your best friends are with my brothers. Every single one of them.”

Myra nodded tightly. “There’s no escaping that fact.”

“I don’t know how I can keep from being in my brothers’ lives.”

“I had to walk away from my life before. I’m not sure I can do it again,” Myra said.

The truth of her words was too much of an echo of what had happened years ago. I didn’t want to go down that path.

Not again.

“You’re not my favorite person,” I said, and she raised her glass in cheers.

“Ditto.”

“But despite that,” I continued, “I don’t want to take away what you have with them. I couldn’t do that. Not even to you.”

“You’re really good with the barbs.” She took a sip of her wine.

I took a sip of mine, letting it settle on my tongue before I swallowed. “I need to stop that. We aren’t those people anymore, Myra.”

She set her wine glass on the table and studied my face. “We aren’t. And maybe it’s time we remembered that.”

“So you want to what? Clean the slate?” Because I wasn’t sure I could do that. Not with the pain I remembered.

“I don’t think there’s ever going to be a fully clean slate between us. But maybe we can move past it, at least when we’re forced into each other’s circles. We’ve been doing that for how long now? Perhaps we need to continue and do it better.”

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